Well, we watched the taped game in its entirety. It's painful, painful entirety.

I guess I'm not surprised that the Astros swept the Reds after the Reds sudden incapacity to convert their hits to runs, but I'm still disappointed. I especially love it when the backups come in to win where the starters cannot; it feeds my fantasy that even I could come in to be the hero. If only they let girls play.

I was interested and intrigued by moving Joe Randa up to hit clean-up. Yesterday the Astros intentionally walked Randa twice, which did a surprisingly effective job at neutralizing the offense. It put me in the mind of last season when the Reds moved Wily Mo Pena up to clean-up when he was hot and needed some protection. Unlike Pena, though, Randa continued to hit well in the fourth spot today, a testament to the benefit of having a few people kicking around on the team who aren't intimidated by their own abilities.

I'm bummin'. It's already looking like the brief flirtation with greatness is already being crushed under the startling weight of reality. I think I'll stop dwelling on this by writing up on of my spring training memories instead. Here's hoping I don't have too many more of the opportunities to participate in this kind of denial.

Yesterday, the Reds lost for the second time to the Astros in unspectacular fashion. After Paul Wilson helped himself out with an RBI single to make the score 3-0 in the top of the sixth, he proceeded to give up three runs in the bottom of the inning. Joe Valentine came on to hold the Astros, but the offense just wasn't able to convert and over the course of the game left 13 runners. After a respectable showing in the 8th, Wagner came on in the 9th and failed to get a single out in the inning before allowing Jose Vizcaino to double-in the game-winning run.

Wilson tried to take all of the blame on himself, but no one was buying it. Like usual, the blame was a commodity to be shared by all.

I'm finding it hard to find anything cute or witty to say about it, mostly because, at this very moment, the Reds are trying to avoid a sweep. We missed the first part of the game for my brother-in-law's birthday party, and we're waiting until the game is all the way done to watch the tape and pretend like it's happening real-time. It's making me fidgity and crabby to have to avoid all my Reds news when I know how much is out there, waiting to be read.

It's time to see what the tape will reveal. Hopefully, this evening there will be reason to be funny again.

Man on man, what a crappy night. I miss most of the game because I'm sitting in the waiting room of the jail waiting for my fortnightly 15-minute visit with my Pop, then I finally do get out to my car to make the 35-minute trip home just in time to turn on the radio and catch Clemens knocking in his own freakin' lead. Demmit! And even though Clemens is on my fantasy team, I don't get credit for his 2 RBI. Double demmit!

Weathers finally had a respectable outing, going hitless in the 7th inning. I was glad to see it. I worry about Weathers because we saw him get rocked at one of the spring training games, and I was underwhelmed by his composure. I can appreciate that we don't want a team of all cool cucumbers, but it seems like those flaring tempers do more to burn out players than to make them shine. Plus, it's kind of embarassing to watch a grown man throw a temper tantrum.

That cool attitude and apparent enjoyment of playing the game has a lot more to do with why I'm getting on the Joe Randa bandwagon than the homeruns do. The occasional, well-timed long ball gets me as riled up as anyone, but I'd rather watch the fellas run the bases than jog them. If nothing else, you get a better look when they have to pause on the bag.

Now is the point where I'd usually go into my rant about how too many guys are wearing their pants too loose, but I'll save it for another day. For now, I have some work to do on my fantasy team. At least Clemens gave me plenty of strikeouts.

He's quite a rakish fellow, don't you think?

This morning, Ryan Freel appeared in court to plead not guilty to charges of DUI, careless driving, violation of the open container law, and expired tags. Like most people, after I read the police report, I assumed that Freel was as guilty as sin, so when I heard that he pled not guilty, I couldn't begin to imagine why. But when I put myself in his legal team's shoes, I started to see why they would recommend it.

I started my thought process by asking myself why the officer pulled Freel over. He cited three reasons:
1) The vehicle was stopped on a ramp, and then pulled over the curb to get back onto the road.
Is this a questionable vehicular maneuver? Absolutely. But if you were lost and suddenly found yourself getting onto the wrong highway, mightn't you consider doing the same thing? Especially if you were in a big-ass SUV and drove like a typical SUV driver (aka, a dipshit)?

2) The vehicle couldn't maintain the lane.
This is suspicious, but it's not proof of anything. I drive 60 miles on the interstate every day, and I always see people who can't maintain their lane for all sorts of reasons: they're yelling at their kids, talking on their cell phones, eating their fast food, reading the paper, etc. And that's in broad daylight on a major artery in Indianapolis. What might these people be like after dark? Long story short: you don't have to be drunk to swerve.

3) Expired tags. Obviously that it's own minor issue, and a pretty understandable one since we all know how long Freel's been in town.

These observed behaviors by themselves don't add up to much. It takes the post-pull-over stuff to actually make it start to look bad. Even then, what do we have?

1) Damage to the side of the vehicle.
Big fat so what? That could have happened at any time. And it's not illegal to drive a damanged vehicle. If it were, a lot more Kentuckians than Freel would be in big trouble.

2) Freel smelled like alcohol.
Again, so what? He was partying with his teammates; they could have spilled it on him. Or he could have been drinking legally: drinking and driving is only a crime if you BAC is over the legal limit. He didn't take the breathalizer test, so they don't know whether that was the case.

3) The flask of whiskey in the back seat.
This is a lame charge. It was a flask. In the backseat. From what I read, it wasn't even empty. This shouldn't play into the rest of the matter.

4) Failing the sobriety tests.
Well, this one actually is pretty damning. But sobriety tests don't prove anything; they can only support the theory that he was impaired, which could have been caused by alcohol, but also could have been caused by extreme exhaustion (he was out way past his bedtime), extreme anxiety (he probably had some of that), or maybe even that general nervous energy that makes him so thrilling to watch on the field.

Yes, he failed the tests, but the proof of the impaired-driving pudding is in the first-hand observation, i.e. the first two points from my first list, which, again, demonstrated carelessness, but not necessarily criminal activity.

So here comes the part where I make my very first prediction of the season, of this blog, of my life (so I may end up looking like a real ass here, if I haven't already). It goes like this.

The court will:
* Make Freel pay a late fee when renewing his tags.
* Throw out the open container violation for being stupid.
* If the lawyers are good (and I expect they are), rule in Freel's favor on the DUI based on lack of evidence.
* Rule against Freel on the careless driving, resulting in a fine and some hours of community service that he probably would have done anyway.

The Reds will:
* Require Freel to complete the EAP substance abuse program, regardless of whether he really has a problem or is just a one-time knucklehead.
* Continue to say mum, commenting in vague generalities about how drinking and driving is baaaad, mmm-kay?
* Hopefully have a talk with everyone about not embarassing the team again this way, as well as not letting each other do it.

Freel will:
* Complete the substance abuse program and emerge will a sense of how lucky he was not to have hurt himself or anyone else, and maybe a belief that he's on this planet for a reason, and that that reason is to be totally awesome. (Yes, I realize I just put together an argument that he might not be guilty at all, but what can be proven in court and what common sense says are two different things.)
* Refuse to come within 500 yards of anything stronger than ginger ale for the rest of his career.
* Be so chastened by the incident that he'll throw himself into his work to escape. Spring training Freel will start to look like a layabout compared to the post-DUI Freel, according to whose work ethic recreation activities, junk food, even deep breaths will be too frivolous.
* Suffer a plummet in popularity in the clubhouse, having lost all sense of humor to self-flaggelation.
* Enjoy a boost in popularity withthe fans, who will view him as the poster child for self-redemption through hard work and perseverance.

In fact, thought it sounds odd, there might not have been a better thing Freel could have done for his career. Thrilling and scintillating performances weren't getting him noticed, but now that everyone had heard his name and is watching him with eagle eyes, he has the opportunity to win over all of his critics in grand fashion.

Yeah, if Freel can see this mistake as a learning experience and an opportunity to prove his mettle, I think we can see him come out on top, which is where we want all our Reds to be. So long as they never, ever do anything that stupid again.