NEW YORK, NY -- Paul Wilson will not go on the disabled list even though both of his arms fell off in the fifth inning of today's game.

Wilson's right arm catapulted from his body on a pitch to David Wright. Beyond the release point, his arm carried the inertia of the throwing motion to land about halfway between the mound and the plate. Despite the initial shock of seeing an extremity flying his way, Wright managed to hit the pitch to the mound for an RBI double. Wilson got to the ball, but failed to make the out when his left arm dropped to the ground.

Even if his left arm had remained attached, it is unlikely that Wilson could have made the out, since he had no right arm with which to throw to first, so the play was scored a hit. Wilson came out of the game, but will not go on the DL.

“For Pauly, it is mental and a matter of confidence in himself and his ability,” said pitching coach Don Gullet, “We'll let him decide if he needs a break, like we did so successfully with [Ben] Weber.”

Asked how the injury would affect his pitching, Wilson said, “'Tis but a scratch.”

When it was pointed out that he had no arms left, Wilson went on to explain that it was “just a flesh wound.”

Wilson is next scheduled to start at Great American Ballpark Sunday against Cleveland.

I don't usually wrap the games where the Reds have such a pathetic showing, especially when I know there's fake news coming down the wire this very night, but watching Koo's at-bat in the bottom of the 8th made me laugh so hard that I'm cheerful enough to do it.

Let's hit the high points before the reality of Casey hitting third has time to sink in again:

- Paul Wilson sucked. Again. He says he's fine physically, but don't three consecutive crappy outings, the inability to throw over 85 mph, and $3.6 million say that the Reds should make him go see a doctor, just in case?

- Jason LaRue continues to hit, with an RBI single to score the first Reds' run today. Too bad his slump wasn't the only (or even really a very significant) problem facing the Reds.

- Felipe Lopez also continues to hit and field well. How exciting to see consistent, competent throws to first that don't even hint at landing in the stands. The next step: learning how to properly slide to take out the pretty boy at the plate.

- Landmark moment at our house: Winter repeated his first curse word in the bottom of the seventh today when that ridiculous wild pitch was followed by that throw to third that ended up in left field. Lucky for my esteem amoung my neighbors, Winter doesn't make the “sh” sound very well yet. I vowed then and there that I would be more careful with my language.

- I immediately broke that vow in the top of the ninth when I saw that Casey was chewing. I keep telling myself that it's not a big deal, but I just can't shake this feeling that I've slipped into Bizarro World.

Stay tuned: fake news coming up next.