I think that's an apt phrase if, by “titanic,” you're referring not to something extrememly large but to a sunken ship.

I appreciate the fact that the Reds are still far from being mathematically eliminated, but the winning percentage they'd have to pull together for the rest of the season in order to have any post-season hopes is quickly becoming titanic itself.

So much so, in fact, that I'm afraid that any changes at this point would just be throwing good money after bad:

• They could get rid of Miley, but why bother? You'd just have to pay someone else to accompany the team through the remainder of this sports craptacular, which would just give them all the longer to lose the respect of these already disillusioned players.
• They could fire O'Brien, but again, they'd just have to replace him, and really, could his replacement make any significant impact at this late hour?
• They could tar'n'feather Milton (which would at least be a better show than one of his starts), but that would be both an utter failure as a huge surprise shake-up for the pitching staff as well as an enormous waste of money, especially when he really is starting to show signs of salvagability for some point during the span of his contract.

Something is not right about this mix of personelle. Individually, there is so much to get excited about, but together, they are less than the sum of their parts. Maybe it'll be good for everyone when they're split six ways to Sunday in a month.

Did I really just type that? Someone, please, please tell me I'm wrong.

How about instead of thinking about 2006 (or even July 2005), we take a moment to think about next week. The Cardinals are coming to town! And with them comes the fun of harassing Bellyscratcher about her easy and utterly non-character-building ride through the fandom of 2005.

I've been thinking about this series for something like six weeks, gathering material. So far, my planned razzes include such gems as:

What's up with your guys only playing two games against Chicago before the All-Star break? Afraid to give it up to a cursed team? Again?

Yo outfield so old I told them to act their age and they died!

and You call that a lead? I've seen better leads on stories in the Cincinnati Enquirer!

It's going to be awesome. Hell, I figure if you've gotta go down with the ship, you might as well laugh as you do it.