Cards Get Ready For Their First Day Of School
By
Amanda
Posted at 2:54 pm
CINCINNATI, OH -- Three St. Louis ball players were spotted in a local department store this afternoon purchasing pencils, paper, and other supplies after hearing that they were going to be “taken to school” this evening.
Reggie Sanders showed off the label maker he'd gotten to identify all of his things. “I can make stickers with my name,” said the Card's left-fielder. “See? 'Reginald Laverne Sanders.' Isn't that cool?”
“I'm going to use it to count all my All-Star votes,” said first-baseman Albert Pujols of the calculator he'd bought. “Let's see, I voted for me once, so I push the 1. And you probably voted for me, so I'll push it again. That's 11 votes!”
Second baseman Mark Grudzielanek proudly sported the new Blue's Clues backpack that he picked out himself. “It's blue, just like my eyes,” he told reporters outside the store.
After the shopping expedition, the trio returned to their hotel. There, Tony La Russa explained that “taken to school” is just a figure to speech that described how bad the Reds were going to beat them after the major organizational shake-up that afternoon. The players were disappointed.
“I was all the way up to 111 votes!” said Pujols.
They Reds are trying to put on a brave face, but they all look so dejected and demoralized. I really liked the sad music Fox Ohio played over the press conference.
Comments cross-posted at [url=http://bellyitcher.blogspot.com/2005/06/its-that-pickle-guy-again.html]Bellyitcher[/url]
If I didn’t know better, I’d think you didn’t really think my story was cute. ;(
Hard to make fun of a team that fired its manager, or hard to make fun of a team that you know is gonna cream ya?
I think you mean "make fun of a team of cream-puffs."
That sappy music was bizarre. It utterly failed to bring a tear to my eye.
One down, 26 to go!
Wow, Pena didn’t misplay that ball.
Wily Mo AND Dunn caught each caught a ball. Things are looking up already.
The top of the first is already gone. Gosh, that seemed quick, didn’t it?
That was an awesome jump by Sanders. The replay is even better.
Feeling comfortable?
You know, our leadoff hitter hits rather than striking out.
OK, we can’t converse if we keep posting a the same time. I’ll wait for you.
P.S. – Felipe really is better at pissing off pitchers in the 9th. He’s working on it.
It’s this 300 seconds between posts that’s screwing me up.
I’ve never seen Carpenter so angry-but he’s said he wasn’t mad at whatshisface, but at himself, random Red just kind of got in the way.
Claussen just got hit in the bottom. That’s funny.
I think Taguchi should go kiss it to make it better. It would just be the nice thing to do.
Taguchi is a very nice man, but I don’t think he can do that after being driven in from second by the pitcher.
Sounds like the best time for him to do it, actually.
Speaking of time, it’s beer time. Mmmm. Corona.
Hmm. My boy’s not getting the groundballs tonight. That’s not a good sign.
What are you talking about? Wily Mo just hit a great ground ball.
And now Javy "Latin Love Machine" Valentin is up. This could get ugly.
Woo-hoo! Go Javy!
No one in baseball has to reach higher to high-five his teammates!
Wow, that tiny person hit that? Yikes.
Yeah, he can really do some damange with a souvenir miniature bat.
Wow, good job, Marquis, totally coughing up the lead.
He can’t help it if he’s totally overmatched.
Uh-oh. The big hand is on the 12; time to brush the kid’s teeth and put him to bed. brb
He certainly looked like it last inning.
Good grief, your catcher can’t catch.
Did I miss anything good? Javy dropped something?
Yeah, Pujols scored when your tiny person couldn’t handle a throw from fairly shallow left.
Dude! I was only gone 7 minutes! But I see the inning didn’t last long, so s’all good.
Dunn up w/ a sac fly opportunity. Could we see history tonight? It would be the lead story in ALL the papers. It would make SportsCenter.
Well, this is not an attractive game.
The guys are going to miss Marquis when he’s out, but I forgot to take him out of my starting line up, so I’m torn.
Well if not for the ball bouncing out of Reggie’s glove that would have been not quite so painful.
This is ideal: we can beat up on Thompson and my fantasy ERA doesn’t go up!
Great attempted catch by Sanders there, but Javy’s an offensive star tonight.
Now the easy part: shutting down the Cards’ offense.
Have you seen Thompson pitch? He’s the equivalent to Yadi-afraid of nothing.
They are both rather pretty. I hope he doesn’t come out of this game too terrified. We don’t want to scare anyone.
Brad the Rad doesn’t get scared.
What’s it like having a really bad bullpen?
About the same as having really bad starters. Hard to complain about the pickle man tonight, though.
Must be a treat for you to get to watch all the hotties on the Reds. Cards lack something, aesthetically speaking.
Are you kidding? Chris Carpenter, Mark Mulder, Jim Edmonds, Scott Rolen, Yadier Molina, Mark Grudzielanek, Albert Pujols.
The Reds all seem to have rather large heads or unfortunate hair.
Funny: those are all the same people I would have listed to prove my point, too. I guess fandom can compensate for a lot.
The Reds have awesome hair. You’re just jealous.
Oh, dear. Oh, my. Now *that’s* funny.
Do your announcers really think Yadi can steal?
After the heroics your guys have subjected us to, I don’t think they’d be surprised to see Yadi sprout wings and fly to second.
Come to think of it, neither would I.
Do you get the fabulous Geico commercial with Tony Little on your feed? It brings me joy every time I see it.
Yeah, that one’s pretty funny.
Sweet catch, new kid!
That was a nice catch. The Reds have made a couple nice grabs on liners as well.
So are you guys going to fire your new manager tomorrow so you can win again?
Maybe for Cleveland later this week, but that shouldn’t be necessary for tomorrow’s game.
I’m glad you’ve accepted losing the series.
This is no good. Did you see how swollen Kelly’s knee was? It looked like his pant leg was gonna split.
Pena in center now. Your guys might get a little relief here.
Your centerfielders are cursed.
I love it when Casey hits like Casey. It’d be great to tack a few more runs on here, even if Graves isn’t around to hand over the game in the ninth.
Yeah, just pile it on. Remember when I said the Cards needed to lose to a really bad team? We’re still not firing on all cylinders, so a blowout is OK.
Happy to. Tomorrow, too.
Speaking of tomorrow, I hate to miss the game just for something dumb like gainful employment. We need to figure out a way to make money doing this. Maybe a Lady Bloggers of the NLC calendar or something.
Oh well. That new manager mojo combined with Marquis’ suckitude was too much to overcome. But the Reds are going down tomorrow.
Such a very early game, I’ll be listening over the internet, so my replies may be infrequent.