Pujols Causes Panic With Claim of Falling Sky
By
Amanda
Posted at 3:15 pm
ST. LOUIS, MO -- Minor panic erupted in the Cardinals' clubhouse this afternoon when first baseman Albert Pujols ran into the room hysterically screaming that the sky was falling.
Little Albie, as he's popularly called, told his teammates that he'd heard the sound of something shattering and had felt things falling on his head. Ol' Bert, the facilities manager, was called to inspect the overhead lights, but the lights were in working order. He then checked the windows, but found them intact. He even checked the television, but there was no evidence of anything having broken. That's when Ol' Bert remembered the high post-season hopes.
“I checked 'em out, and sure 'nuff, they were caving in faster'n you can say 'early-season aberration',” said Ol' Bert.
With the mystery solved, calm returned to the clubhouse and the Cardinals went back to preparing to get trounced by the Reds.
I know I said the sky was falling, but I was 99% kidding. And yeah, we’ve been made fun of before. Nuthin’ doin’, RHM. Which is exactly what will happen to the Reds tonight. Every top half of every inning: nuthin’ doin’.
"And yeah, we’ve been made fun of before."
Ah, it’s funny because it’s true.
UPDATE: Almost forgot to mention that all this sass is x-posted at [url=http://bellyitcher.blogspot.com/2005/06/no-pickles.html]Bellyitcher[/url]
Eh, you’re all just jealous.
We’ll see who’s jealous after the game.
Well, let’s see. Even if by some miracle the Reds do win tonight, that’ll be what? 8 road wins?
That’s right: lucky number 7. Soon to be 9.
Golly, shoulda played Taguchi in center tonight it looks like.
Watch out, National League, Albert’s wearing the black t-shirt again.
Reggie!
Yeah, that former Red of yours can hit!
Looky! 3 ground ball outs! In a row!!
And the key there is "former."
How sweet! Yadi’s got peach fuzz!
…AND he almost made it to second. He’s growing right up.
P.S. – Your comments are hosed. Forgive me if I don’t get all my comments up there.
I’ll be back in a few…gotta reboot the computer.
Yeah, haloscan is sucking today.
I have no idea why Yadi was running. I love the kid, but he is slooooow. Have a seat, Mr. Pena.
I cannot fathom why Wily Mo is hitting before Dunn. And we see how well it’s worked out so far tonight.
Oh, Jimmy.
Dunn is out twice. Mulder taking baby steps.
*Really* baby steps–they weren’t even strike-outs.
I’ll take what I can get.
All right, pickle man!
What a lackluster game. It must be too hot for them to do anything noteworthy.
I’d say something about a pitchers’ duel, but the Cards are going to score some serious runs in the bottom of this inning.
And it’s very hot there. Have a seat, Mr. Casey.
My smack talk seems to be sub-par. Perhaps a beer will help that.
Hear, hear.
Say, when was the last time La Russa updated his hairstyle? 1979?
When you’re the fourth winning-est manager in MLB history, you stick with what works.
Holy crap, Peña CAN make contact.
Good things are happening; I can just feel it.
Last time I trust that feeling…
Ah, you were right. That was very good. Reds strand a runner at third.
Have they ever mic’d Casey over at first? Those would be hilarious conversations.
Yes, and the conversations aren’t as good as you’d like to think. A lot of "how’s the wife and kids? See the new Vin Diesel move?" kind of stuff.
Of course, maybe that was just a show for the mic. Maybe when no one’s watching he’s over there talking about what he was doing with the runner’s wife the night before. Man, that would be surprising!
Oh, wow, that’s boring. I’m sure it’s saucier without the microphone. At least I hope, otherwise Casey is the dullest person on the planet.
We prefer to think of him as "nice."
Wow, Mulder lasted MUCH longer this time.
Jeepers creepers, I think that Chris and George are ready to start the Eckstein fan club.
Mulder did well. I am pleased with this outing. Now he needs to build on it.
"…the Eckstein fan club."
All are welcome-even with that last throw. Most doubters have been converted.
YADIER MOLINA!
You may sing his praises now.
Alternately, you may sing the luck of the bad call.
Yadi is a cutie, though. If we didn’t already have two catcher that I have extreme affection for, I’d covet him.
I got a search hit this week for someone trying to find out if he’s married. I assume that at the ripe old age of 15 he’s not?
Or, you can wonder why someone would be far enough off base with Yadi behind the plate to make it a close call.
Forget who’s behind the plate: how about why he was so far off the base when he wasn’t even the lead runner.
That’s why he is a Red instead of on a winning team.
Yadi is 22 (turns 23 during the season) and I don’t believe he is married.
Quick! Before he goes all the Reds should go sit on Ray King.
And Aurilia isn’t likely to be a Red much longer, I’m afraid. I wish he were doing better; he’s damaging his trade value.
Weird. I don’t know what that kind of thinking feels like. Is it depressing? Or just kind of numbing?
Just like I’ve never had to watch a total choke in the World Series. Just goes to show…something about walking in another man’s shoes. Or something.
In general, I don’t know anything else, so I can’t really tell you what it feels like. Normal is what it feels like to me. In the particular case of Aurilia, it’s not too bad. It’s Randa that I’m going to miss.
I just have to enjoy this time I have with them now, I reckon.
But playing spoiler is pretty sweet. Taking the Cubs out of the WC race last year was a sadistic joy to be sure.
I wonder what the mathematical chances are of the Reds playing into the Cards postseason hopes in that last series of the season.
Ah, yes, the World Series. The last refuge of anyone trying to dis the Cardinals.
How much is Randa making? The St. Louis guys mentioned the Reds might cut payroll next year.
While anything is possible, I think the Cardinals post-season plans will be decided before that last series of the season.
You call it a "last refuge"; I call it a "defining moment in the character of the Cardinals." Six of one, half dozen of the other.
Randa’s making $2.15 mil. I haven’t heard whether they’re going to cut payroll, but Randa’s definitely gone this year.
Sigh. So close, Dunner.
Pinch-hitting with Javy! My day has been made.
And Izzy’s pitching around him! Even better.
Izzy, Izzy, Izzy.
Ah well, what’s one more loss in the scheme of things? The "scheme of things" being the horrific beat down your boys are getting tomorrow.