As I read through my posts so far this season, I was struck by how it feels like so much more than three months have passed. Time fails to fly when you're at the bottom of the division, I guess. Man, we really have come a long way since Joe Randa and his “All I know is I'm gonna rake this year,” and that opening sweep of the Mets that had everyone barely daring to whisper “wire-to-wire,” haven't we?

Red Hot Mama was barely a week old when the her first fake news story, Freel, Wilson Still Sorry, came out on April 11 fast on the heels of that Freel DUI fiasco. It was a proud moment. (The fake news, not the DUI.)

Here's a great quote from my post on April 16: “Milton looked (sounded) great. I won't jinx things by suggesting that we might finally have a real-life starter that we can actually count on, but, well, I'll just stop.” I should have stopped before I typed that. Looks like it's all my fault. Damn me and my jinxing ways!

I continued along the fake news track on April 27 when I thought I was just being silly suggesting that Lopez would be a five-time All-Star in 2010. Shows what I know. Four more to go.

On May 2, I picked a fight with Bellyscratcher to start our first Smack Talk. Man, we were pretty weak back in those days, but to be fair, it was a total blowout. For the Reds. Remember? Until Graves and the ninth. That ugly, ugly ninth. And Graves' ugly, ugly behavior afterward.

That game prompted one of RHM's more popular stories explaining how it wasn't Graves' fault.

On May 14, Joel gave us this bit of genius over at Reds and Blues, opening himself up for countless references and links from Red Hot Mama.

After at least three crappy starts, Paul Wilson lost his arms in what would turn out to be a season-ending injury, and there went our opening day starter. Poor guy. Poor us. The Reds would go on to cause mass irritation by carrying too many pitchers, but really, even 13 pitchers weren't enough.

It was round-abouts May 20 when D'Angelo Jimenez was DFA'd in the Reds' first attempt to shake up this faltering team. Even then, I wasn't impressed, and neither were the Reds who won that day but dropped the rest of the series to the then-struggling Indians. The Indians!

On April 17, I had said that Graves had “nothing to worry about.” I made an about-face and got lucky on May 22 when I called the dismissal of Graves the day before it happened. Dr. Johnson said it was a “turn on.” Dr. J would later embarrass me horribly when he hit too close to the mark calling me on my baseball crushes, and then he would disappear. You still out there Doc? No one's posting boderline inappropriate stuff on my site these days.

A couple weeks later, we followed the great fun when, on June 2, Kearns and Dunn went on a wacky adventure through Denver, but my personal favorite story was on June 4 when Milton, Casey, and Randa threw down outside Coors stadium. June 7 was also very popular with its fake classifieds.

The middle of June saw Austin Kearns being sent to Louisville, where he remains still. A couple good things have come from it, though, such as a couple of intercepted letters, and my getting to see him play in Indy on July 4 and July 5.

Before the end of June, we would see the removal of Dave Miley and Don Gullet, right in the middle of a series with the Cardinals. The Reds took the series, but got back to their inefficient ways in short order, so it ended up looking like just the latest in several big-but-ultimately-ineffective moves that have defined the first half of this season.

There was good news, though, and more than just Tony Little and Geico. The Reds moved Dunn up in the order after I said they should on June 30. And then, just a week later, his congregation was in trouble for insect cruelty.

And that pretty much brings us up to the present moment. There were some good times to break up the monotony, and surely we're due some more in the second half. Just three more months to go? That's going to fly by.

Go Reds!

PS - Don't forget that Bellyscratcher and I will be smack talking the All-Star game. Could be a total disaster. You won't want to miss it!

I tuned in to today's game this afternoon to watch Eric Milton be great through 6 2/3 innings and the offense fail to come up with so much as a single run by way of support, let alone the two they would have needed to spare him the loss.

I'd like very much to pull together some outrage about all of the missed opportunities. It really is crap. But honestly, I'm exhausted and just glad to see it done with.

For the half dozen or so of you who are still reading about the Reds, I'll give you a preview of the break here at RHM and call it a night:

• I'm hoping to put together a retrospective of the season and RHM tomorrow.
• Bellyscratcher and I will be talking smack on the All-Star game Tuesday. I'm not sure how that's going to work, with us being on the same side and all, so if there are any AL ladies who would like to drop in, I'm sure we'd be happy to show you the error of your ways.
• I'm endeavoring to update the Human League profiles I've already done, plus post the Dunn profile I've had written for couple weeks but delayed putting up until the rest of the world stopped talking about him for 30 seconds.
• And if I'm not entirely burned out, maybe I'll even write up my ideas on what the Reds should do before the trade deadline.

Rest up everyone. All six of you.

Between softball, minor league games, and insect-oriented fake news, I realized that I last wrapped an actual Reds game on July 3, and that was the double-header that I saw in person. The last time I wrapped one I saw on t.v. was June 26. I hope I can remember how to do this.

And my, how times have changed. Things I was surpised to see tonight:

• Starting pitching didn't lose the game before it began. I guess that's not too surprising out of Claussen, but nevertheless impressive in a general sense. The bullpen also failed to give it away. Matt Belisle even took out the Diamondbacks 1-2-3 in the ninth, the last two being strikeouts.
• Ray Olmedo stood out tonight with his energetic play and offensive productivity. He built on the positive impression he started with me with his cheerful willingness to try playing in the outfield. Let's see here: a fast little guy who will play anywhere. I'm not swooning. I'm not. No really.
• Sean Casey, after I had spent last night formulating a fake story in which the Diamondbacks would position every one of their fielders between first and second to ensure that they'd get him out, hit the ball to a completely different place (center field) to bring in the tying run in the eighth.
• Adam Dunn, who hadn't given every Reds site in existence anything specific to say about him for at least 20 hours or so, came through with the clutch grand slam in the tied game to bring the score to its final: 2-6 Reds. In the post game interview on FSNO he promised many more wins in the second half of the season, and his demeanor was totally braggadocio-less while he did it.
• And most of all, Reds win! A road series! And a road trip! Against teams in the NLW, but still!

Tomorrow they go for the sweep. I'm ready for more pleasant surprises. Go Reds!

Wednesday's Special Olympics softball battle between the Stars and the Dodgers ended in a 12-3 heart-breaker for the Stars after six innings.

The Stars got off to an early lead in the top of the first when third baseman Joe knocked in first baseman Abe to get the first run of the game. The Stars held the Dodgers until the bottom of the second when no one on the Stars was available to keep score, but we know it ended with the Dodgers up 2-1.

The Dodgers struck again in the third inning, scoring two to bring the score to 4-1, but the Stars made a comeback bid in the top of the fourth when they loaded the bases with one out. Pitcher Bobbi struck out, but second baseman and leadoff hitter, Matt walked to bring in the Stars' second run. Abe went on to ground to short for a fielder's choice to end the inning.

In the fifth, the Stars loaded the bases again with no outs, and Matt P. scored when Little Robert's pop-up to the first baseman dropped. Little Robert was called out on the infield fly rule, but since the ball dropped, the runners could advance. Unfortunately, none of the base coaches knew that rule or else the Stars probably would have plated more runs. Catcher Wally went on to strike out and yours truly grounded into a fielder's choice to end the inning and all hopes of contending in the game.

The Dodgers unloaded in the bottoms of the fourth and fifth innings to bring the score to its final: 12-3.

The Dodgers are a team the Stars have had good showings against in recent years, but this year they have picked up a new shortstop who throws straight and wears real baseball pants. He hit one all the way out of the park to straight-away center, but was struck out in his next at-bat, much to the joy of Bobbi.

The Dodgers' second basewoman had a very good game and managed to tag out Jon as he was sliding into second. She has a hearing problem in addition to whatever disability qualifies her for Special Olympics, so she can't actually talk, but it was clear that she was very pleased with herself on that play.

Stat leaders for the Stars after two games include:
BA: .833 -- Third baseman Joe, followed closely by left fielder Matt P with .800
OBP: .833 -- Joe and Matt P
RBI: 2 -- Joe, Matt P, and me
R: 2 -- second baseman Matt, first baseman Abe, and Matt P

Pitcher Bobbi, who first laid hand on a softball this season about 10 minutes before the game, now sports an unhealthy 18 ERA, not helped by the fact that it would be ludicrous to try to keep track of errors in SO. We were too busy fielding to keep accurate records, but we think we remember her getting four strikeouts.

Next week the Stars are back playing at the practice field, probably against the Cardinals. It's their best chance for a win so far in the young season.

CINCINNATI, OH -- The Reds are looking at unconventional methods to take care of Ryan Freel's lingering toe issue.

The second toe on Freel's left foot became inflamed, preventing him from running and landing him on the DL retroactive to June 19 two weeks ago. The inflammation was caused by the second toe being longer than the first.

The problem is recurring and had always righted itself with treatment, but this time the malady is taking longer than expected to clear up. “Unless we can fix the source of this problem, it may never heal,” said Reds medical director, Dr. Timothy Kremcheck.

One option is to amputate the toe, or trim it down to the first knuckle. “But we're afraid that removal of all or part of the toe would interfere with [Freel's] ability to run,” said Kremcheck. “And it would be pretty gross.”

Kremcheck explained that the risk could be mitigated by replacing the toe with a prosthetic, a “bionic toe” in the same vein as the bionic arm used by Brandon Claussen earlier this season. “We could give it features that a regular toe just doesn't have,” said Kremcheck, “like extra strength and resiliency, or AM/FM radio.”

The most inventive procedure would be to augment Freel's current big toe with plastic surgery to bring it into proper proportion with the second toe and relieve some of the pressure causing the inflammation. This procedure is not commonly seen in the sports world but has been used for years for actors, models, and dancers afflicted with Godzilla Toe. A notable side benefit of plastic surgery is that it would give Freel beautiful feet should he ever decide to pursue a career modeling sandals.

Presented with the options, Freel was less than enthusiastic. “I was hoping I could just get some shoe inserts or something,” he said.