I have places to drive every night this week, so I'm not going to catch a whole game on t.v. all week long. Argh!

Of course, if the whole week goes like tonight did, at least I won't be missing much in the way of fantastic baseball. I mean, I can stand to avoid watching:

• Another crappy start from Ramón Ortiz. Seriously: what's up with Ortiz? Have they MRI'd every cubic inch of him yet?
• The fantastic power of two whole runs from this Best Offensive Team In The Known Universe.
• Three errors out of Edwin Encarnación. To be fair, though, we all knew that was coming. The fact that he'd outrun the defensive errors over the last couple weeks deserves some praise, and the fact that they all caught up with him on the same night isn't really that bad, since the offense had already decided to take the night off from scoring. Maybe now he has them all out of his system.
• Luke Hudson pinch running for an Austin Kearns, whose hamstring issue is apparently more serious than originally thought. Can you say, “oh no, not again”? I knew you could.

No, thanks, I'll just do my driving if that's the caliber of stuff I'm going to miss.

In the mean time, I've been percolating on another one of those shamefully punny fake news stories that I just can't seem to resist grinding out on occasion, this time about Todd Coffey. Definitely stay tuned this week if you think that the best part of waking up is a horrible pun.

Forgive me, guys.