Was it just yesterday that I was squirming as I listened to the game on the radio, thinking about how I was getting bored in these long August days of the baseball season? Hard to believe as I sit here on the off day, squirming as I read Reds news and wonder what to do with myself without a game to listen to.

Sad.

In random tidbits:

• Felipe Lopez is the player of the week. Good for Felipe.
• I love this photo. If he'd actually caught the ball, I'd be completely smitten.
• Hank Waddles sent me a link to this article he wrote about junior Griffey's return to greatness. It's nice, light reading.

I'll be more appreciative to have a game again tomorrow. Go Reds!

In a horribly dispiriting showing, the Stars were shut out and lost by the 10-run mercy rule to the Sluggers. The five innings lasted approximately 45 minutes late this morning in Indianapolis.

The Stars started off well, allowing just one run in the first inning, but suffered several misplayed balls in left field in the second to allow eight runs. In defense of the left fielders, the Stars get very little practice fielding fly balls, as most practices consist of scrimmage games against the other teams in the same county, who don't provide a lot in the way of practice for our outfielders. The Sluggers tacked on their tenth run in the top of the fifth when a ball rolled to the fence, allowing an inside-the-park homerun.

The Stars have vowed that fly-ball practice will be a top priority going into next season. As will practice at hitting, the lack of which was the single biggest hindrance to the Stars today. The Stars stranded six, with only on runner even reaching third base.

The Stars only real threat came in the bottom of the fifth when Jon led off with a hit past the shortstop. Wally walked, and Little Robert singled on a liner to center field. Then the wheels fell off when Robert popped up to the pitcher, enacting the infield fly rule. Bobbi also popped up in the infield, advancing the runners, including bringing in Jon from third. However, the umpire made all the runners return to their bases despite the fact that we have recorded proof that our runners have advanced on a ruled infield fly in a previous game. Second baseman Matt fouled out to end the threat.

There were a few bright spots. Bobbi pitched spectacularly with five strikeouts, four of which to end innings. The infield defense was stellar, even in spite of the fact that the infield (but not the outfield) was artificial turf.

The degree of disappointment and disgust felt by the Stars was indicative of how much we wanted and expected to win this year. We've been the victims of much worse games at state, but we've always been able to bounce out of the game with a cheerful “at least we got some good exercise!” kind of attitude. I think the mood of the team was summed up nicely by this conversation that occurred as the team lined up to receive our medals:

SO Official: (painfully chirpy) So, did you guys have fun?!
RF Jerry: (deadpan) No.
SO Official: (still ridiculously perky) Oh no! Did you win?!
RF Jerry: (still deadpan) No.
SO Official: (clearly sugared up or something) Well, as long as you had fun, that's all that matters!
RHM: (mumbling) Did we not already establish that we did not have fun?

So for now I'm just reminding myself that we're building team character and should function as a more cohesive unit for it. And I'm reminding myself that we're actually much better at volleyball, which should be starting next month.

Go Stars!

In news that I think we all saw coming, after belting out 17 runs yesterday the Reds could muster only two tonight to lose in the second game of the series against the Diamondbacks. The jaded part of me says they'll go on to lose tomorrow in another achingly low-scoring affair, and then all the news stories will talk about how they outscored Arizona over the three games but still lost the series.

Grumble grumble.

Just When You Thought You Knew the Definition of 'Foul Balls'
In news that's perhaps a little less expected coming from me, there's an interview with Jessica Canseco, ex-wife of Jose Canseco, in the September issue of Playboy. It's a pretty short article, so I'll take away the excuse you were going to use for buying the magazine and hit the high points right here and now. I bet you're very appreciative that I'm saving you $4.99.

The relationship began as all successful, long-term relationships do when Jose, already at the peak of his popularity, picked Jessica up in the Hooters where she worked. The very next day, Jose committed the famous ball-bounced-off-his-head-and-over-the-wall blooper, presumably because he was still absorbed with her visage. It had to be love.

Once they were together, Jose apparently cheated incessantly. He was an especially callous casanova, characterizing his lovers not by their names but instead by their hair color. Now, I kind of figured that when you signed on with a jock, especially a jock who was already a national celebrity, especially a jock who was already a national celebrity who picked you up in a Hooters, that you pretty much went into the situation with the understanding that, while you were the official other half of the duet, there was realistically a lot of other accompaniment going on.

Apparently athlete's bombshell-significant-others are just as naïve and romantic as all young inamoratas though, because the article goes on to describe some of the lengths to which Jessica went to try to keep Jose's affections to herself, including muscling up to the mortifying weight of 130 because he liked her to be “meaty,” arranging a ménage à trois with a friend, and submitting to his carnal urges anywhere and everywhere, Fenway Park being specifically cited (though she declined to give the row and seat number for fear that she would “get in trouble.”) It wasn't enough to hold Jose's attention, however, and the two were divorced in 2000.

Of course, no Canseco story would be complete without some discussion of steroids. This discussion didn't shed much new light, except that the substances left Jose so hobbled that Jessica would sometimes have to help him dress himself.

Oh, and that he apparently has no testicles left at all.

Just When You Think All The Good Ones Are Already Taken, You're Right
In news that's downright sweet, JD, the world's most beloved Reds blogger, got married last night. Smart getting married during the season, leaving open the opportunity for all manner of baseball-related anniversary presents. Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Reporter. Best of luck to you in the coming years.

And Just When I Was Starting to Find my Stroke
Finally, in news that is bittersweet, tomorrow is the big state tournament that marks the end of the Indiana Special Olympics softball season. From what we hear, the Stars have been placed in the fourth of six divisions. Each division has four teams, with the winners of the first two games playing to determine first and second place, and the other two teams both receiving bronze medals. Here's hoping we get to play two games tomorrow. I'd love to post a photo of something in the silver or--dare to dream--gold spectrum.

Go Stars! Go Reds! And, oh heck why not: Go JD!

I missed tonight's game for an appointment. When I was finally ready to come home, I called Jon to check in, and the following conversation ensued:

Jon: Hello?
RHM: Hi, honey. I'm finally done. I'm on my way home.
Jon: Great. You want to know the score?
RHM: (with trepidation) Um…sure.
Jon: 17-3.
RHM: Holey crap.
Jon: Yep.
RHM: Let me guess who scored the three. Let's see, Lopez, Kearns, and LaRue.
Jon: Nope.
RHM: Who then?
Jon: The Diamondbacks.
RHM: Oh. You meant 17-3 the good way.
Jon: Yep.
RHM: Holey crap.

Wowza. Let's see more of that tomorrow.

I hear Austin Kearns contributed two three-run home runs, which matches the RBI total of that three home run night I got to see while he was at Louisville, as I recall.

Speaking of Kearnsy, check out this rambling essay by John Sickles at Minor League Ball (thanks to Shawn for making its existence known). While you're there, ponder a point that seems to have been missed by Mr. Sickles and his responders: the difference in Kearns' performance pre- and post-send-down. With Kearns' recent return to form, it's easy to forget just how abysmal his start to the season was.

Which just makes his recent awesomeness all the more awesome, IMO.

Javy's catch on the step to the dugout got him the #4 Web Gem on Baseball Tonight. Someone started coughing as I was watching it so I couldn't hear all the commentary, but I'm pretty sure that the part I missed included John Kruk calling him “the LLM.”

Does the fantastic catch make up for the 0-for-4 afternoon with a strike out AND a GIDP? Dunno. But it does merit seeing the picture again.

Go Javy! Go Reds!