CINCINNATI, OH -- Even at the tender age of 25, you would think that Albert Pujols would know that clinching the division means you can relax. Instead, Pujols has gotten progressively more tense since the Cardinals guaranteed themselves a postseason berth last week.

Pujols, an MVP hopeful and usually a solid producer, was held hitless in last night's game.

Reds first baseman Sean Casey is recovering from a concussion and so has had plenty of time to analyze his St. Louis counterpart's play. “I could see it in his games before, but his tension was painfully obvious last night,” said Casey. “La Russa would have seen it too, if he wasn't always wearing those stupid sunglasses.”

Casey, ever magnanimous, took it upon himself to try to help Pujols this afternoon, and while they were talking, Casey realized that Pujols didn't know the difference between the words “clinched” and “clenched.” Pujols was very tense -- literally.

“I told him that he didn't have to be such a tight-ass, and I think he's doing better now,” said Casey, “but he still runs a little funny.”

The Reds continue to make the Cardinals look like they didn't deserve to clinch anything tonight at 7:10 at Great American Ball Park.