September 22, 2005
Witchcraft and Robots
By
Amanda
Posted at 2:30 pm
I wanted to come up with a real witty smack-talkin' fake new piece, probably involving witchcraft and robots, for tonight's game. Unfortunately, I seem to be suffering from a severe case of lack of inspiration.
Don't get too close, I wouldn't want it to spread to all of Redsdom. Oh, I see it's too late for that.
Instead, I'll just re-post this picture from smack-talk many moons ago. At least it'll give me something to look at as I trade snaps with Bellyscratcher while listening to the game on the radio.
Blogger is sucking again. I am forbidden from seeing bellyitcher. Whatever.
Looks like no cross posting necessary.
Blog problems suck. I hope it’s up for you again soon.
Golly, I’m a little late for making dinner and both teams have already managed not to score? Looks like it’s going to be an active night.
Yadi’s just so adorable.
Have you ever noticed how much Morris looks like [url=http://willforte.net/imgs/wp/FalconerBG1024x768.jpg]The Falconer[/url]?
I liked his beard when he showed up at Spring Training this year, but he’s trimmed it to the point that it’s not effective anymore. He either needs to grow it back or shave it off.
Half-assed beards make for half-assed pitchers.
Morris is only half-assed, huh? Wanna try Milton for a while?
Milton’s not doing anything half-assed; he’s whole-ass sucking.
Ew.
Yeah. Sorry ’bout that. I didn’t really think about it til after I hit submit.
It’s a real shame that the Cards haven’t had any drama this season: no great obsticles to overcome, no lesson about teamwork to be learned at the end of the season. It’s a story utterly lacking romance.
I mean, even if they take it all, will it really be that satisfying? What have they really done to earn it?
K, I’m outta here. I hope for good traffic.
Hey, Diaz was our first string catcher for a while. We’ve had drama.
Freel sent you a double for the road. Be careful out there.
Yadi’s especially adorable when he can’t hold on to the ball to allow Morris to go on to walk the batter. Cute as a button.
Just in case I haven’t made it adequately clear, Jim Edmonds sucks.
One catcher for part of a year isn’t drama. The errors your boys are putting on the board tonight almost count.
But come on, honestly, wouldn’t this game be just a little more exciting if there were well, anything on the line?
Matt Morris’ position in the post season rotation is on the line.
Well, that *is* big. I almost hope he wins now.
It looks like Claussen’s eye is bleeding. Probably blinded by the beauty of Jim Edmonds.
Ew.
Is his eye really bleeding? No t.v. for me tonight.
I don’t think so. There was just a weird red shadow on his face.
Javy’s up. Can the girl pitcher find his tiny strike zone?
BRB. It’s bedtime for everyone under the age of 5 at my house.
He’s not a girl. He just doesn’t shave yet.
Oh no. King is in.
Looks like I’m back just in time.
King cannot get people out. At all. We’re going to lose at least one playoff game per series because of him.
Maybe he’ll sit on someone and take them out of the game. That could be his contribution.
Dude, nothing working. Radio feed’s gone; gamecast is acting weird. Is the world about to end just because the Cardinals are going to lose a series to the Reds?
That’s entirely possible. Or because Willis overtook Carpenter for the lead in wins.
Your boys are falling apart.
This is beautiful. Go Eddie E!
Yeah.
They just want the Reds to feel like they could be a .500 team some day.
All it would take is winning all the rest of their games. They’re getting a good start tonight. And if the Cards are still looking like this this next week…
They looked pretty bad at the end of last September, too; still got to the WS. King is the only one I’m worried about. Tavarez is usually fine.
Tavarez looked great tonight.
Do you think a lot of people ask John Mabry "Why the long face?"
Do you think he answers "because I grounded out to short"?
Probably. It’s the same people who ask the Reds’ GM how his free agent signings are doing.
Goodness. That was pretty bad. We’ll get you guys next weekend.
Yeah, I hate those people.
Wow, the mighty Cardinals fall again to the lowly Reds. Are they just trying to get the losing out of their systems, or have they run out of Geritol on this road trip?
We’ll see about that. I can imagine my boys getting pumped up to take the last series at the stadium. That’s the sort of stuff they play for these days.
Hopefully I’ll have come up with some inspiration by then. It took me weeks to come up with that picture of the trophy house!
Hell, we lost a game to the Royals this year. But this game makes me want to buy shoes.
I will be crying. Last series of the regular season, last games at Busch II, all those Hall of Famers and former players. Sniff, sniff.
You forgot "the embarassing shellacking the Cards will be taking." I’ll bring some tissues.
Oh, I didn’t forget, cause it won’t happen. Bob Gibson will come out and drop kick Adam Dunn through one of the arches if the Reds so much as get on base.
I’ll bring the beer.
Who the hell is Bob Gibson? Some sort of all-star beer vendor?
Yes. The baddest bad-ass beer vendor ever.
I think it’s sweet that the team honors their beer vendors. How would anyone enjoy a Cardinals game without them?