Rich Aurilia. The man does not have one redeeming quality. He's incredibly arrogant and seemingly unaware of the fact that he sucks at baseball. His range in the field rivals that of Sean Casey. He's completely unable to hit outside of GAB. He steals playing time from not one, not two, but three more deserving players. Oh, and yes, his goatee looks stupid. Seriously, take a look at his home/road split from last year.

Home: .332/.380/.561
Road: .231/.296/.321

Now, a discrepancy between the home and road numbers of a player is pretty common, but Aurilia's OPS is 320 points lower when he leaves Great American. His road numbers would make Tony Womack proud.

Oh, and speaking of Tony Womack, it's already looking like he's come in with that same sense of entitlement that Aurilia seems to have. There's only one real difference I can see between the two: Tony Womack won't be able to hit at home, either.

All my anguish traces back to Dan O'Brien. I shall hunt him down and I shall throw heavy objects at him until he points his finger at me and says “Negatory”. Then I'll call him a douchebag and go cry, thinking about how good of a job he did at making the team worse.

Which Reds personnel or former Reds personnel do you hate with an undying, burning passion that will never be quenched?

My crack technical staff, who has been up to an awful lot of fiddling with the site lately, has made the biggest improvement in recent memory with the addition of the Red Hot Diaries. They're just like the diaries on the SportsBlogs Nation sites that all the kids are talking about these days.

You'll see them over there on the right-hand side: click Post Your Own to share your wit and wisdom with the Red Hot Mama reading public. C'mon. Do it. Don't leave me hanging here, man.

The great thing about an intra-squad game: half your team's gonna win. The not-so-great thing: it's kinda lame. But we did see some interesting things in today's victory of Ed “Nappy” Napolean's Reds over Bucky “F#&@*ing” Dent's Reds this afternoon.

The line-ups, thanks to Marc:

Home, managed by Bucky F. Dent (as it says on the lineup card)
Ryan Freel, CF
Tony Womack, 2B
Felipe Lopez, SS
Adam Dunn, 1B
Edwin Encarnacion, 3B
Javier Valentin, C
Tuffy Rhodes, LF
Jacob Cruz, DH
Chris Denorfia, RF
Luke Hudson, P

Bench: Andy Abad, Joey Votto, Derek Wathan, Aaron Herr, Dane Sardinha, Steve Torrealba
Bullpen: Rick White, Jimmy Journell, Phil Dumatrait

and

Visitors, managed by 1959 Caribbean Series MVP Ed Napoleon
Quinton McCracken, DH
Scott Hatteberg, 1B
Ken Griffey Jr., CF
Austin Kearns, RF
Rich Aurilia, 3B
Wily Mo Pena, LF
Jason LaRue, C
Frank Menechino, 2B
Ray Olmedo, SS
Brandon Claussen, P

Bench: DeWayne Wise, Anderson Machado, Ryan Hanigan, Aaron Holbert, Miguel Perez, Earl Snyder
Bullpen: David Weathers, Bubba Nelson

This game was a 4 1/2 inning long parade of Reds. After I cataloged the things I found interesting about this game in my mind, I discovered that they were the same things that Mark Sheldon of the official site found interesting, so I'm going to borrow liberally from his story and see if I can't get to bed early for a change.

• Claussen pitched three innings, allowing one walk, one strike-out, and three hits including a home run to Adam Dunn. Not too bad for the first time out.
• Luke Hudson beaned right fielder Austin Kearns in the arm in the first inning, knocking Kearns from the game. Early reports are that Kearns is going to be OK. Dammit, Hudson: watch what you're doing.
• Shock of all shocks: Wily Mo Peña walked twice today. I wonder what Marty had to say about that.

Tomorrow the Reds again play the Tigers, this time the ones from Detroit, at 1:05 p.m. Ben Kozlowski will start in place of Eric Milton, who is out with a right calf-strain. Too much driving with his legs, I guess. Or perhaps the rubber position isn't quite right.

Welcome to the Red Hot Diaries. Like Red Hot Mama, the diaries sound like porn, but they aren't. They are, in fact, just like the diary functionality you know and love from all those SportsBlogs Nation pages, like Red Reporter.

These are a forum for you, faithful reader, to contribute your own personal voice the chorus that is Red Hot Mama. Post your Reds news, baseball tidbits, rules to badass drinking games, really about anything you want. So I guess technically it could be porn, if that's what you end up contributing.

Which reminds me, I reserve the right to remove anything I think is offensive. I'm pretty hard to offend, though.