Brandon Allen Falker Claussen was born May 1, 1979 in Rapid City, South Dakota. He graduated from Goddard High School in Roswell New Mexico in 1997 and was drafted the next year by the New York Yankees. In 1999, he graduated from Howard Junior College in Big Spring, Texas.

Claussen is a man of faith. He told Pastor Curtus Moak “I always pray a bold prayer: Lord, use me as you will.” before speaking to kids at the Hamilton Christian Center. Hopefully, the Lord wants to use him for some Reds’ victories.

Claussen found his faith after a burst blood vessel in the brain killed his step-father at age 43. While in the hospital, Claussen met Kelli, the woman he’d marry less than a year later.

You know, I’m glad that Claussen has overcome adversity, found something to believe in, and discovered true love, but there’s just nothing funny about this story, so let’s change directions, huh?

JD at Red Reporter tells me that Mrs. Reporter makes fun of Claussen’s haircut every time he plays. At least he’s got hair, I say.

Ooh, here’s something: Claussen’s page on Baseball-Reference.com is sponsored by Paperbacknovel.com with this comment:

Would love to have Brandon on the Yankees pitching staff now. A good pitcher now; a future top-of-the-rotation starter. And the future might be 2006.

I thought some Harlequinner must have the love for Claussen, but the site doesn’t appear to be about novels at all. So, if you are a romance novelist, and think his page really ought to be about thinly veiled euphemisms (he is The Pickle, after all), you’ll be glad to know his page will again be available to sponsor in 2007.