June 5, 2006
The "Get a Brain Morans" Guy Opens a Restaurant
By
Amanda
Posted at 6:46 pm
ST. LOUIS, MO -- St. Louis resident Brian Morans recognized his favorite team today by opening a bar in honor of the Cardinals.
Morans, now notorious after he was caught on film with a sign bearing his own name misspelled, has parlayed his notoriety into a money-making eating establishment.
“I thought if a guy like Albert Pujols could do it, it can't be that hard,” said Morans.
Moran's Bar and Grill will feature some special Cardinals-themed dishes for the series against Cincinnati. “Timo's Toasted Ravioli of Unrealized Expectations” and “Jeff Suppan's Beer to Cry Into” are likely to be crowd favorites.
When asked why the entree names were so pessimistic, Morans shrugged. “Even I can see where this series is headed.”
Hey there, I might miss the first couple innings–gotta fix my car. Well, the proxy has to fix my car, but I have to stand there and watch.
Smack talk cross-posted at [url=http://bellyitcher.blogspot.com/2006/06/first-day-of-rest-of-our-lives.html]Bellyitcher[/url].
Willing to miss part of a Cardinals game just so you can have the ability to tool around town? What’s happened to you!?
Oh, shit. Girlfriend, you’re missing a show here.
Anyone out there? Doesn’t Claussen look distinguished with his new facial hair?
BS, you’re missing the best part. My boys have the bases loaded!
Fit to be tied. This could be a high-scoring affair.
Wait. Claussen has facial hair? I was distracted by the lack of crappy-80’s-hair. (About time, I might add.)
What’s the deal, BS? The “first couple” innings are over. Afraid to watch your boys give it up?
Claussen had crappy 80s hair? Like Flock of Seagulls?
No, no, not that crappy thankfully… that blond looking, long mess that was on the top of his head. “crappy-80’s-hair” was the best I could do, but I might be able to come up with a better descriptor given some time.
I’m here! Car fixed!
DP!!
Guess there’s no need now, seeing as it’s gone.
Hey, let’s play Would You Rather until Ms. Scratcher shows up.
Would you rather:
A) see a streaker run by and steal Tony LaRussa’s sunglasses
OR
B) witness David Eckstein twitch so fervently in the batter’s box that he just falls right over during his at bat?
Oh, hi Belly! Welcome.
Oh, I’d rather see the streaker.
B. Most definitely B.
Watch it, Pickles.
Hey, good evening peeples…RHM, how come no “Top Ten Reasons The Cardinals Will Lose To The Reds” article for this series? 😀
That’s been a Cubs thing so far, John. Why, you got some reasons?
I can tell you the #1 reason right up front:
Albert Pujols + 15-Day DL = Reds Pitchers 🙂
WHY does George keep saying that song is by Peter Frampton? It very clearly is not.
I guess because the best hitter in baseball (who just happens to be a Cardinal) is on the DL? Our centerfielder is playing first?
Reds pitchers? Hee hee hee. It’s funny cause it’s oxymoronic.
Or oxymoranic, if you’d rather.
You just say that because you’ve gotten an atypically large dose of Claussen. That much dill is sure to mess with your mind.
Holy shit, 70 pitches through 2 2/3 innings? Way to be efficient, Pickles.
Heh…Is that why the Cardinals had to hang around outside Ed Smith Stadium in Sarasota waiting for the Reds to discard Josh Hancock so they could finish building their bullpen for this season, BS?
Hume to Claussen: “Dude, you had two quick outs. Quit throwing your damn curve and get the last out.”
Snacks? Snacks is the last man down there.
You miss him, don’t you? That’s pretty sad.
Hell no. We’ve got Esteban Yan these days, baby!
Yep…just as much as we miss Tony Womack. Whose departure left us a huge hole at a key position…no-stick infielder.
I think that’s what they called Eckstein back in college.
Oh lord. That’s right! People probably shouldn’t be casting stones about bullpens, then.
Nah. We can cast stones at walk-happy Suppan.
I’m sure that’s what they called Eckstein in Boston.
Nice bunt, Claussen. I guess that means we’ll be seeing him in the fifth.
Uh, that was only the second walk? Wanna try again?
Can Lopez make it three RBIs from the leadoff slot?
Suck it.
Dude, is anyone watching the t.v. broadcast? Taguchi makes a good throw and George Grande finds a way to compliment Edmonds?
That guy is starting to get on my nerves.
Almost.
Well, I didn’t want to say “ball-happy Suppan” so I amended it a little.
Ah, The Gooch.
The game’s not over yet. Lopez may do it yet.
Nah, I’m in Buffalo, only TV we get here is the !#$%^&* Yankees. 🙁
Wish I could get the Reds on TV here.
By the way, RHM, we have to flip back and forth to check in on the Stanley Cup Finals, so I may miss a bit if there’s a big hockey thing happening.
I’ve heard good things about Extra Innings.
I’ve got Grande and Welsh… I think I’ve learned to block out everything but his comments on the plays that are unfolding.
WOAH.
Junior didn’t hurt himself making that catch!
Someone call the folks at Ripley’s!!!!
I loved EI last year (don’t have it this year) except for the Brewers’ announcers. Who made me want to die.
You know, I’m very fond of Chris. It’s too bad about George.
My crack technical staff surmises that George is, in fact, a robot who just pulls comments out of a database at random. Hence the Georginator.