Reds Donate Leads to Reporters
CINCINNATI, OH -- The Cincinnati Reds revealed today that the bullpen hasn't been blowing leads as commonly believed. They've been donating them.
Much like last year's popular program to donate runs to a local retirement community, this charitable endeavor helps out those less fortunate than the Reds. Every lead the bullpen gives up goes straight to an area reporter.
“I couldn't figure out why people were booing our charity work when the program was supposed to be announced back in April,” said David Weathers, mastermind of the plan. “Then I found out that the Marketing Department accidentally used the draft of the press release as the scorepad for their annual conasta tournament.”
The bullpen has been surprisingly effective in giving up leads this season. This may be the most successful charity effort in Reds' history.
“You just love to see the looks on the reporters' faces when you give them a good lead,” said Kent Mercker. “It makes giving up that lead worthwhile.”
The bullpen will continue to give up leads until it is dismantled later this month. No word yet on donating punny headlines.
OMG, now it all makes sense. Thanks for blowing the lid off of this one RHM!
Really, all the credit belongs to my sources, deep within the belly of the beast. I’m not going anywhere near that beast myself!