Welcome Pole
By
Amanda
Posted at 7:10 pm
The Reds have issued a press release to tell the world that they've hired Dick Pole as their new pitching coach. And since I'm the press--well, sort of--I'm going to reprint the whole thing.
CINCINNATI -- Cincinnati Reds general manager Wayne Krivsky today announced that Dick Pole has joined the Major League staff as pitching coach.
Pole, 56, previously was the pitching coach on the Major League staffs of the Chicago Cubs (1988-91), San Francisco Giants (1993-97), Anaheim Angels (1999), Cleveland Indians (2000-01) and Montreal Expos (2002). The 2007 season will be his 19th as a big league coach and his 15th as a professional pitching coach.
For the last 4 seasons Pole worked for the Cubs as bench coach under manager Dusty Baker. His complete bio is attached.
The hiring of Pole completes manager Jerry Narron's staff, which includes hitting coach Brook Jacoby, bench coach Bucky Dent, first base coach Billy Hatcher, third base coach Mark Berry, bullpen coach Tom Hume and bullpen catcher Mike Stefanski.
Welcome aboard, Dick. I'm sure we're going to enjoy having you.
Glad to see the Red Hot Mama being so welcoming to Dick Pole. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
That’s because she knows she’s going to have a field day with that name.
I say there should be a contest to see who can come up with the best line without resorting to sexual references (For example: The only problem with being named Dick Pole is that when you finally get around to meeting your soulmate, you better hope her name isn’t Emma). Bonus points if you remember Dick Pole pitching against the Reds in the 1975 World Series.
Pole has been a big league coach for 19 years? Not bad considering Tony Muser almost killed him in ’75 with a two-run liner off Pole’s face.
HMZ
How do you go through life with a name like that? What could his parents have possibly been thinking? I guess those were more naive times, but still…
I’m sure Coach Pole probably doesn’t find his name the least bit humorous.
The rumor now is that the Reds are going to overhaul the food service staff, hiring guys whose names are appropriate to the duties they will perform. For example, when the Reds trade for Coco Crisp to play center field and lead off, he will double as breakfast consultant (but for the major league team only…Eddie Bacon gets the job as minor league breakfast coordinator). George Haddock will plan Friday dinners, which will be served by Steve Trout, several guys named Bass, a couple of guys named Salmon, three guys naked Pike, and of course, Catfish Hunter and Catfish Metkovich. A whole bunch of guys named Fisher will be responsible for requisitioning the main course of these meals.
They’ll get Turkey Gross to whip something up for those who prefer poultry to seafood. Clarence Beers is in charge of liquid refreshments, with an assist from Ben Tincup. Eddie Mayo and Jackie Mayo will handle condiments. And of course, Happy Foreman will supervise all these guys and make sure that under no circumstances will Sloppy Thurston get anywhere near the kitchen.
Using similar logic, R. J. Reynolds will run the ballpark cigarette concession, to be joined by Brandon Puffer after he retires as a player.
Harley Boss will be in charge of keeping players from endangering
their careers by riding motorcycles.
Harry Boyles will be the team dermatologist.
Dick Lines will be the rest room attendant, assisted by Gene Leek and Johnny Couch (for the women’s restrooms).
Al Kaline will be responsible for keeping fresh batteries in the clubhouse flashlights in case of a power failure at the ballpark.
Jim Greengrass and Hank Greenfield will head up the new grounds crew.
Rags Faircloth will design new uniforms made from 100% recycled materials in order to save the club money that can be better used to buy some much-needed help for the pitching staff.
Jack Fee will devise a new pricing schedule for game tickets.
Now they just need to find jobs for Rich Batchelor, George Bone, Benny Bowcock, Pete LaCock, Dick Hyde, Dick Ricketts, and my personal all-time favorite, Gene Brabender (maybe he can be in charge of interviewing potential new cheeleaders).
BTW, all the names in this post belong to actual guys who played in
the majors at one time or another.
HMZ