It's when you see number like “3 years” and “$13 million” quoted in stories about your veteran free agents, such as in this story from The San Francisco Chronicle, that you start to realize that there is no chance that Rich Aurilia will be playing for the Reds next season:

Also, according to sources:

-- The Giants continue to talk to Rich Aurilia, whom they view as a potential third or first baseman. Aurilia is hearing from a lot of teams but is considering strongly a return to San Francisco and a reunion with manager Bruce Bochy, whom Aurilia admired during his brief 2004 stint in San Diego.

Aurilia could benefit from the three-year, $13 million deal the Cubs gave Mark DeRosa. DeRosa is younger but Aurilia is more versatile.

I would have though that if any of the Reds personnel interested the Fish, it would have been Pole.

According to this story on Sun-Sentinel.com, the Marlins are in the market for a young, cheap center fielder who can defend a few acres of outfield. The author of the story mentions Chris Denorfia:

It's not just a matter of swapping some excess pitching for an emerging outfielder with some speed, some sock and fewer than three years of service time.

The glove and the arm need to be there, too, in order to maximize the benefit of all that young pitching the organization has accumulated.
…
Lesser options include Chris Denorfia (Reds), Franklin Gutierrez (Indians), David Murphy (Red Sox) and Cory Sullivan (Rockies), although the latter two aren't much against lefties.

Though the author of the story lists Deno as a “lesser option” and only in the final paragraph of the story, there does seem to be love for the Heartthrob in the reader comments.

Standridge said farewell to the Reds organization on November 13, 2006 when he was picked up off waivers by the New York Mets.

Fans of the reigning hottest Red couldn’t be found for comment, but there’s no question that the organization as a whole is less good looking for his departure.

Standridge was best known for not quite living up to the nickname I wanted to give him: Jason Strandridge. The appearance on Fear Factor that he and his wife were rumored to have been approached about apparently never happened. And I’m not sure Fear Factor is even on the air anymore, so it’s not looking good for the future. Perhaps he’ll get his shot on The Flavor of Love.

Standridge said farewell to the Reds organization on November 13, 2006 when he was picked up off waivers by the New York Mets.

Fans of the reigning hottest Red couldn't be found for comment, but there's no question that the organization as a whole is less good looking for his departure.

Standridge was best known for not quite living up to the nickname I wanted to give him: Jason Strandridge. The appearance on Fear Factor that he and his wife were rumored to have been approached about apparently never happened. And I'm not sure Fear Factor is even on the air anymore, so it's not looking good for the future. Perhaps he'll get his shot on The Flavor of Love.

Updated 11/14/2006 11:08 PM
Looks like I've knocked the Limerick Contest off the front page a solid two days before the deadline. I don't really want to sticky it, so I'm changing the date to bring it back to the top.

Originally posted 11/10/2006 12:30 AM
Some people have brought to my attention the fact that our new pitching coach, Dick Pole, has a somewhat amusing name. And since I can tell that people are just itching to use all their tasteless jokes, I saw an opportunity to provide the tasteless venue.

Hey, don't thank me. Serving the community is just what I do.

The task before you is to write the funniest Dick Pole limerick. To enter, submit your limerick in the comments on this post by 11:00 p.m. EST on Thursday, November 16. Enter as often as you like. The winner will be selected by which one makes me laugh the hardest, unless I can get the Crack Technical Staff to make me a poll by then. In which case the winner would be selected by poll. Pole poll.

The winner will receive the Reds crap I have lying around my desk, including but not limited to: a signed copy of the increasingly “collectible” Funnyball, a “Cincinnati GO REDS” bumper sticker that I picked up at the Reds caravan last year, and a fistful of Red Hot Mama matchbooks.

Good luck!