This has been an ugly series so far, but you know things are looking up when Brandon Phillips is vowing to turn a double-play straight through Pujols' head.

My kiddo is suffering a fever and a tummyache today, so there's always the nonzero chance that we'll be doing the obligatory appendicitis-scare ER trip, but I'm hopeful that ibuprofen and Popsicles will do the trick.

Let's see if C. Trent's got the line-ups:

Our Beloved Reds
Josh Hamilton CF
Jeff Keppinger SS
Ken Griffey Jr. RF
Brandon Phillips 2B
Adam Dunn LF
Scott Hatteberg 1B
Edwin Encarnación 3B
David Ross C
Bronson Arroyo P

Those Damn Cardinals
Eckstein ss
Ankiel rf
Ludwick lf
Edmonds cf
Duncan 1b
Miles 2b
Bennett c
Looper p
Ryan 3b

No Pujols! I guess the threat of someone throwing at your cranium is a strong one.