I hit the Cubs official site tonight and saw that you can get Cubs.com in Spanish now. A quick tour of the other NLC official sites showed that you can also get Astros.com in Spanish.

Totally awesome, in my opinion. I’m very much in favor of making baseball more accessible. And I’m also in favor of getting Scott Spezio eye replacement–if that’s what he needs–as apparently mentioned in this headline on the Cardinals official site that I saw when looking for more sites in Spanish. I had no idea team doctors were making such impressive strides.

Pat, the mighty fine writer of the Pirates’ blog Where Have You Gone, Andy Van Slyke? and contributor to the Fanhouse at AOL brings us a video preview of “The Horrific NL Central.” Man, it’s great. I especially liked the parts about Dusty Baker.

While the Reds were busy giving Gary Majewski a very long rope, the other teams in the Central division were busy playing their own fake games. Only there games were even more fake than Cincinnati’s.

• The Pirates got down and dirty by killing a Manatee. Not only politically incorrect and illegal, but it sounds like a great euphemism, too! But Pittsburgh started off the Spring right by beating up on a local community college. This Bud’s for you, Buccos!
• The Brewers played with themselves not once, but twice.
• Lastly, the Cardinals played St. Louis University and managed to squeak out a win even with the absence of Scott Spiezio (hat tip: BubbaFan). I have to say that I’ll miss that Kool-Aid facial hair a little bit this year.

It looks like tomorrow brings a whole slew of Grapefruit and Cactus League action. I know more importance is placed in the games than they deserve, but it’s still awesome to be able to listen to baseball again. And during the Spring, there’s never a shortage of games to stream during the workday.

By “shines” I of course really mean to say “explodes like a super nova.” The ST opener was rather uneventful except for Majewski’s ominous entrance in the 5th inning. At that time the Phillies held a slim 1 run lead. His line shortly thereafter: 1/3 of an inning pitched, 9 batters faced, 6 earned runs, and 4 wild pitches. His spring training ERA is 162.00. Sure these things happen in early games, but this is Majewski we are talking about here. The guy that was given (for what seems like the umpteenth time) a blank slate by management and their paid lackeys in the written media.

Baker on 2/23:

“Majewski’s throwing the ball well. He’s in better shape than I heard he was last year. He’s stronger.”

Reds Notes: Majewski turning heads 2/23/08:

With most of the Reds’ front-office brass watching from behind the cage, including Baker, Majewski provided another encouraging sign. Many of his pitches stayed down and none of the hitters connected too solidly.

In two unremarkable stints with the Reds in 2007, Majewski was 0-4 with an 8.22 ERA in 32 games. He allowed 43 hits in just 23 innings.

Unremarkable? Are you sure about that Mr. Sheldon? I have to disagree. Majewski was very remarkable not only in 2007 but in 2006 as well. Remarkably bad.

Or how about this charming tidbit from John Fay’s Insider last spring 3/9/07:

There is a very happy group of Girl Scouts running around Sarasota these days.
Reds relief pitcher Gary Majewski recently purchased $77 worth of assorted Girl Scout cookies – enough to fill the bed of his pickup truck – at the local Wal-Mart.

UPDATE: Majewski threw 20 pitches off one of the bullpen mounds on the back fields this morning. Word is the session went well.

Look, I hate to beat a dead horse here, but why do these writers insult our collective intelligence like this? We have seen this bum stink up the field now for 3 years. I realize this is just one game. But the man’s ERA is 162! That is how many games are played in a season. I suppose if they trot him out there enough times he might manage to trim it down to something less nauseating, somewhere in the vicinity of 27.00. Nontheless why go to the effort of giving this guy the benefit of the doubt by publishing such pure b.s. like this:

“I kind of figured out what I was doing wrong,” Majewski said of the video sessions. “It stinks it took this long to figure it out. It seems like it’s working now. I just need to keep working at it. A majority of my pitches are where I want them now — down in the zone instead of belt high where they were hitting them last year.”

Incidentally when that quote was originally published on reds.com Majewski used the word “sucks” not “stinks.” Like I said the writers really did their best to make the guy as appealing as possible. Too bad baseball isn’t politics. Maybe Gary can run for Congress or something.

Anyhow let us pray that Majewski’s days with this club are numbered. Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice shame on you. Fool me a third time and ummm… err, ah, we won’t get fooled again!

So the boys played 1 game, an intrasquad contest that pretty much equates to playing a game of sloshball with your buddies at your local elementary school yard on a weekend.

Hmmm, not sure if they allow that sort of thing in this day and age, but that’s what we used to do back in college in the early 90s. Put the keg on second base and everytime you round the bag you chug one. The game usually ends when players can’t find a nearby bathroom.

Based on the play by play account of today’s game I am prepared to go on record with some bold — very bold — fearless predictions. Here we go:

• Scott Hatteberg and Norris Hopper both get the starting nod on opening day. Jay Bruce begins the year in Louisville. Votto makes the roster but sits against Brandon Webb. I want professional at-bats from Hatteberg vs one of the leagues toughest pitchers and I am guessing that is what Dusty will want as well. Doesn’t mean Votto isn’t a starter, mind you, but he is gonna get eased into the job.

  This will surely cause an anti-Dusty uproar amongst certain fans who can’t wait to see Bruce and Votto become perennial all-stars, but wait, don’t go berserk yet because in a surprise development Volquez wins a slot in the starting rotation. Affeldt becomes a situational lefty in the bullpen, the same role in which he excelled for the Rockies last season, and Fogg and Belisle fill out the rotation with anchors Harang and Arroyo. Bailey and Cueto start the year in AAA. Cueto will have a strong spring but his inexperience and lack of a full season at AAA will incline management to give him a couple starts in the minors before tossing him into the fire. Bailey will struggle with control this spring and require more time in Louisville as well.

• No surprises anywhere else on offense unless Alex Gonzalez’ knee issue doesn’t go away in which case Keppinger gets the starting nod at SS. If AGON winds up on the DL you will have either Castro or Janish as back up. Maybe both make the roster. They might very well carry 3 catchers again if Bako has a decent Spring. More backlash against Dusty over this issue, no matter which way he goes because this is likely a decision that takes place at the end of camp.
• The bullpen is what can make or break this team as we have witnessed before. Its no surprise that the last time the Reds were in serious contention they had a young hard throwing successful set up guy in Todd Coffey. Will we ever see that Todd Coffey again? I don’t know to be honest but I see him making the club along with Burton, Weathers, Cordero (obviously) and Coutlangus. Stanton gets released, and Mercker’s comeback is not convincing enough to take a chance on him. Roenick wins a job with a good spring and Majewski… I don’t know. Does he have options left? He might get traded. I guess that’s wishful thinking.