The Reds are playing the Cubs, and thanks to the Cubs being in a nasty slump, the series is tied 1-1. Seems like a fun time to get out the old Whack-a-Cub game and blow the dust off the Zambrano mallet. The Reds could have used this earlier tonight.

Play Whack a Cub

In this case, though, it doesn’t seem to just be inferiority-complex-inspired crabbiness. Or, if it is, it’s on base.

It’s been over a year since Thom Brennaman started broadcasting for the Reds. Back then, I was very much against the idea of the team putting just another white guy in the booth (even if he was Marty’s son). Back then, I’d actually make the effort to turn off the audio on the television broadcast. Back then, I’d yell at the radio when Thom said something stupid.

Since then I guess I’ve just become numb to the constant stream of drivel. But this post at The Cub Reporter re-sensitized me to the wisdom of Thom. Some of the complaints in the blog post are just bitching, but not all, and that’s what makes this post special.

Some of the jabs are directed at Chris Welsh, and Chris may say some dumb stuff sometimes, but he’s really a genuinely good color guy. When Thom first started last year, my favorite parts of his broadcasts were when he’s say some inane or irrelevant or obviously made up thing and Chris would go silent, apparently as he tried to come up with a non-confrontational to say what was on everyone’s mind, namely: “Thom, you ignorant slut.” In fact, the quality of Chris’s commentary and his desire to be non-confrontational could be part of the problem.

Even though the Reds aren’t going to get rid of Marty’s son any time soon, I can see two different directions the team could go to improve Thom’s image:

1. Hire me. I’ve got two whole years of nearly weekly podcasting experience that I could put to use in a nightly broadcast with Thom. Unlike Chris, though, I would be perfectly willing to call Thom out. “Do you have any proof to back that up?”, “Don’t you think that sweeping generalization may be unfair to some right-handed hitters?”, and “How about you just stop talking for a while?” would be my popular catch phrases.

2. Hire Joe Morgan. Rather than trying to call out the inanity, make a sport of it. Thom’s lack of actual baseball knowledge against Joe’s lack of actual sense. Watching them try to outdo each other will become even more interesting than the game on the field, not that that’s too tough when the Reds are playing. Though Joe will be at a disadvantage, since his frequent references to his Reds career will suddenly seem sort of relevant.

The more that I think about it, the more obvious this seems. The Reds need to hire Joe Morgan to make Thom Brennaman look better by comparison. They need to do it now, even before addressing the manager situation.

You’ve heard of FireJoeMorgan.com. Now, we at Red Hot Mama have registered the domain HireJoeMorgan.com (can you believe it was available??) I’m not sure yet what we’re going to do with it, but I’m sure it’ll be no problem. An idea this good writes itself. If nothing else, I can fill it with inferiority-complex-inspired crabbiness; this is the Reds we’re talking about after all.

I saw this story on Deadspin and I had to link to it. It’s probably the most inspiring baseball story to come out of the Pittsburgh area since who knows when. A very moving story.

Lots of amazing quotes from the kid who’s the focus of the story. He has insight that most adults never achieve. My favorite is this:

A situation is what you make of it. Not what it makes of you.

You should read it for yourself.

Boxscore

Albert Pujols somehow turned a typical ground-out into the go-ahead run for the Cardinals (21-12). Pujols was on second base when Rick Ankiel hit a ground-ball to second. I don’t know if it’s Tony LaRussa or Pujols who’s prescient, but by the time the Rockies (12-20) second baseman fielded the ball, Pujols was at third. He scored in a very close play at home.

That gave the vulture win to Randy Flores (1-0), who had earlier blown a Cardinals lead, and Jason Isringhausen (S 11) got the save. Brian Fuentes (0-2) got the loss.

Thanks to the Cubs loss, the Cardinals now have a 2.5 game lead in first. This game further illustrates my confusion about the Cardinals. Overall, they don’t look like a good team to me, yet they keep winning. And was the win today an example of a team being incredibly lucky with everything bouncing their way? Or the mark of a team that has everything together and one that could win the pennant? This month should shed some light on that, as the Cardinals play more road games.

The Cardinals go for the win tonight, sending out Braden Looper to face Mark Redman at 8:35pm EDT.

Boxscore

The Reds (13-20) celebrated Cinco de Mayo by scoring 5 runs and ending their 5-game losing streak. Thanks to the Cubs (18-14) and their recent ineffectiveness. It’s one thing to lose to the Cardinals, but I think it’s something entirely different to lose to this Reds team.

Johnny Cueto (2-3) bounced back nicely from his previous terrible start, going 6 innings, striking out 8 and allowing 3 runs. His opponent, Ryan Dempster (4-1) didn’t do nearly as well. Actually, that’s not entirely true. Dempster worked 6 scoreless innings, but thanks to some shoddy defense, allowed 5 unearned runs for the loss.

David Weathers returned from the disabled list and was effective as the 8th-inning set-up man. And Francisco Cordero (S 5) remains perfect in save opportunities, although I’ll never know how he didn’t allow any runs with the Jason Isringhausen shenanigans he was pulling in the ninth.

Regardless, a win is the win, and the Reds desperately needed one. The Reds have a chance to make it two in a row and to make the Cubs worry a bit more tonight when they send Aaron Harang out against Carlos Zambrano at 7:10pm EDT.