Reds beat reporter John Fay dropped this little observation on the day before Cincinnati’s halfway point of the season.

If Aaron Harang and Bronson Arroyo don’t turn things around quickly, this season is toast.

Really? You’ve got to be kidding me. The optimism there astounds me. The Reds are 13.5 games out of first and have been double-digits back for a long time. And still Fay thinks the Reds have a shot?

This just in: monkeys have been spotted flying out of butts.

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Edinson Volquez finally sucked for the Reds last night. In 4 1/3 innings, he allowed 7 runs-5 earned–and struck out none. None!

It was an ugly game. No, strike that. It was a Cincinnati game, the kind I expect to see since returning with Ken Griffey, Jr. in 2000. But Volquez’ starts had been something different: a win.

Ah, well. Everybody screws the pooch sometime.

The offense was no help, per usual. Jerry Hairston, Jr. was back, for whatever that’s worth. Griffey’s still old, and Dunn obviously has no passion and can’t hit well (he was 2-4 and scored the only Reds run).

Things are pretty down in Reds land right now, if web traffic is any indication. What I can’t figure out is why it took until almost July. I mean, Dusty Baker, the harbinger of all things antithetical to baseball goodness, was hired last year!

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In the aftermath of the whole Shawn Chacon choking the Astros General Manager Ed Wade, the Astros actually played some baseball. And they played well, so take that all you nay-sayers about using strangulation as a motivation technique. Heck, it’s been working for Homer Simpson for years.

Wandy Rodriguez was pretty awesome, throwing lots of strikes and allowing few hits and fewer runs. Rodriguez pitched 8 innings of 1-run, 5-hit baseball, giving Houston their second series win in a row.

Wandy’s back on track, and Houston might be, as well. Of course, what would be more symbolic of rock bottom than players fighting front office staff in the clubhouse? There’s not much elsewhere to go but up.

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The Cubs lost their first home series in a good long while to the Orioles, of all teams. Of course, considering Jason Marquis was pitching the rubber-match, the blow-out loss isn’t surprising.

Let’s roll that beautiful Marquis line score: 7 runs, all earned, in 4 innings of work. Ouch. Not good for any starter on a team with delusions of world domination, let alone the 4th or 5th.

So now the Cubs have both Marquis and Jim Edmonds on the team, both former Cardinals. Edmonds has been attempting to win over Cubs fans by flashes of competency–including a walk-off hit–but I have to wonder how this will end. You know Cardinals fans are hoping they’ll somehow sabotage Chicago’s season. Me, I don’t think the Cubs need any help screwing up their postseason chances from their oldest rival. They’ve been doing that just fine for a century.