Boy oh boy, have the Reds and Bank of America got a deal for you. If you are among those willing to wield a credit card emblazoned with Cincinnati graphics, they’ll present you with your very own miniature base, autographed by Bronson Arroyo.

Now, the credit card itself I can almost get behind. It can represent the emotional credit that you’ve lent the team year after year, hoping it’ll finally be enough to finance their never-ending rebuilding. Plus, you can buy stuff with it.

The miniature base has its symbolism, too. It stands for all the bases Arroyo gave up this year. But once you’re done reflecting on the highly anticipated one-two punch that failed to perform, then the squandering of the unexpected one-two punch delivered by a couple rookies, there doesn’t seem to be much to do with the thing. You can’t even set them up in the living room and pretend you’re a giant unless you open three different accounts.