Not literally, of course. Dude is huge.

The Yankees and C.C. Sabathia agreed this week to a 7-year, $161 million contract. I had heard that the Brewers’ offer was actually more per year but for a fewer number of years. Even so, this contract is the richest ever given to a pitcher. Opening up new Yankee stadium has to be an exciting prospect, and those pinstripes are so slimming.

Everyone’s favorite crappy outfielder Corey Patterson has switched agents. Apparently, Patterson had been represented by Scott Boras, the agent notorious for filling his client’s wallets with all sorts of mad cash. But apparently not even the mighty Boras can magically turn a 23% Not-Out Percentage into a Major League Baseball contract, and C-Pat is looking for greener pastures.

A year too late, I’m afraid.

So, those Reds traded Ryan Freel, eh? Might actually be a decent move, I suppose, but against the backdrop oft he cluster that is Dusty Baker’s management, it’s hard to see this move as anything other than more of said cluster.

In any event, the massive level of annoyance that it aroused in the Red Hot Household was enough to shake us from our three-month long podcasting malaise. This ought to motivate us for at least a couple months, at which time I guess they’ll have to trade Brandon Phillips to the Nationals in order to raise my ire enough to create more audio content.

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Warning: The word “fuck” appears in the following quip about three dozen times. If you’re offended by such language, well, that’s your own fault for coming to Red Hot Mama when the Reds trade Freel.

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. You’re telling me that Ryan “Adored by every woman in Cincy” Freel was traded, and his name didn’t even make it to the motherfucking headline on Reds.com?

But other than that, spot on trade, idiots. Dusty Baker never liked Freel, and if theres one thing we’ve fucking learned this year, it’s that Baker fucking knows best. And halleluja that they sent him off to get another fucking catcher. God knows that the Reds can’t do without sixteen fucking catchers at a time. Just can’t fill the fucking void after the Cardinals salvaged LaRue. Just can’t seem to bounce back after the fucking Bench years.

Not to worry, though. David fucking Weathers will be back next year to keep things interesting. Gary Majewski will be there to put butts in the fucking seats. I can’t wait to tune in to see fucking Alex Gonzalez be injured. It’ll be fucking compelling baseball.

Overall, though, I like the trade. I bet Hernandez is going to be a real fucking asset.

You’d probably like the details. Here’s the important parts of the story on Reds.com:

LAS VEGAS — The Reds on Tuesday completed a trade in which they acquired catcher Ramon Hernandez from the Orioles for utility player Ryan Freel and two prospects.

Baltimore will also receive Reds infield prospects Brandon Waring and Justin Turner. Cincinnati is believed to be receiving $1 million in cash from the Orioles in the deal.

Hernandez is slated to make $8 million in 2009, with a 2010 club option worth $8.5 million and a $1 million payment.

Freel is scheduled to make $4 million next season.

Dammit. This sucks.

There’s not a whole lot going on in baseball right now, unless you find who received arbitration offers exciting. Which I don’t, or I would have written about it.

To tide you over, here’s an interview Ken Broo did with Joey Votto.

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