Joey Votto is back, joining his team as they visit his home town in Toronto. FSOhio has been playing clips from an interview with him through the game, talking about the anxiety attacks that he’s been suffering from. I, too, suffer from anxiety attacks, sometimes for no reason that I can explain, so hearing him describe his experiences just sent a pang of empathy through me for a lad that I already have an uncommon affection for.

As I said, the Reds are playing in Toronto, which is, for those of your following along at home, home to an AL team. Which means that the Reds get to use a designated hitter. As is the traditional wisdom, they are having their pitcher sit out. A more dynamic manager might have recognized that since it’s Micah Owings pitching, they ought to have the pitcher leading off and DH for Willy Taveras.

The Blue Jays’ pitcher tonight has a nasty, ’70s ‘stache that’s making me want to gag. I realize that styles come and go, and that facial hair is totally retro, but nasty ’70s ‘staches are just the gross. Similarly, I do not like the beard that the actor who plays Jim on The Office (who’s name I can’t remember except that it’s really long) had grown for the movie he’s in with Maya Rudolph. Yuck. Way to ruin an otherwise perfectly good-looking dude.

Continuing on the topic of perfectly good-looking dudes returns us to where we began: even Joey Votto has not managed to help the Reds find their offense tonight as I sit here watching in the sixth inning. May the power of the anti-stache prevail before this night is done!