I was idly Google Image searching Joey Votto just now (Why, you ask? Shut up, I say. It’s my lunch hour and I’ll can use it to Google-stalk research players if I want.) and I came upon a most wonderful resource: PerfectGame.org.

Not only did this site provide the Votto-too-tough-at-age-18-to-smile-for-a photo you see here, but also such gems as:

Votto made a name for himself at Tropicana. He is a good looking athlete with a strong baseball body and a nice arm. Most importantly he has a beautiful left-hand swing that projects to hit with plus power. The ball jumps off his bat and sounds a bit different than most wood bats.

Good looking? Beautiful? Strong body? Wood bats? This is a passionate report indeed. I may have missed my calling as a scout.