ANAHEIM, CA — The officiating crew in the Yankees-Angels series has been making some bad calls. But it’s not because they are bad at their jobs: it’s to save 30 barflies from having to face their families.

“When I have a decision to make,” said Jerry Layne, home plate umpire at tonight’s game, “I use my direct line to the Buffalo Wild Wings (BW3) in Humptulips, Washington to find out if the guys there want me to make the game longer or shorter.”

“They always say, ‘We don’t want to go home yet.’ I think they must have really sad home lives,” said Layne.

Despite multiple bad calls in tonight’s game, the Yankees won authoritatively.

“We try to give them some extra innings when we can–to keep their old ladies off their backs for a little while longer. It just wasn’t meant to be tonight.”

For the Red Hot Household, and for me in particular, October has been just a little piece of hell.

That may be a little harsh: most of the stuff that’s been keeping us so incredibly busy has been pretty fun, tonight’s finance midterm notwithstanding. Funny how I thought the test in my microeconomics class would be OK and the finance test would kill me, then it turned out to be the former that made me cry. Staying home from work for the last day and a half to study for the latter probably helped.

But between celebrating my birthday and the CTS’s birthday (a few weeks late) and going to the pumpkin patch and my soon-to-be-sister-in-law’s bachelorette party, there just hasn’t been time for much baseball. Even when I get home and turn on the game, as I have tonight, I have a little trouble concentrating. Probably has something to do with the fact that I’m so tired, I believe I actually fall asleep a little every time I blink my eyes.

Even so, it’s hard not to notice that the Yankees have a heckuva line-up right about now, I think that whoever wins the Phillies-Dodgers series will thank the Angel’s for wearing them out with all these extra-inning games. And the umps for their contribution as well.

Give Up After 2 Weeks

After a grueling 15 days without a pitching coach, the Cincinnati Reds took a page from the Nobel Peace Prize committee and hired someone earlier than necessary. Bryan Price, formerly of the Arizona Diamondbacks, will be the pitching coach for next year’s losing effort.

Many Reds fans had speculated that the Reds might pursue Dave Duncan, whose contract ends with the St. Louis Cardinals after this season. Of course, the Reds would have to, you know, interview people instead of hiring the first moron who they could lure into Cincinnati.

All I can figure is that with the Arizona Fall League stating, the Reds were going crazy with the idea of not having a pitching coach. I mean, how are the pitchers going know that they’re supposed to throw strikes instead of balls.

As if special-delivering a birthday present for me personally, the Chicago Tribune today reports on rumors of the Reds looking to significantly upgrade their coaching staff:

Dusty Baker may not be as safe in Cincinnati as the Reds’ strong finish would suggest. Owner Bob Castellini reportedly has his eye on the Cardinals tandem of manager Tony La Russa and pitching coach Dave Duncan.

Well, it’s no secret that many teams would have their eye on this pair, should they become available, and of course Castellini has always had the love for the St. Louis organization. George Grande might pull a Brett Favre if this were to go through.

And I make the birthday present comment because today does actually happen to be my birthday, not because firing the heckuva-guy-but-terrible-manager whose hiring drove me away from the team for a solid season is actually a gift. In fact, it’s more like stopping a wet willy.

The NLC’s only representation in the post season was just swept tonight. I had heard some say that the Cards were the team to beat in the NL and others say that the Cards were confident going in to the series. Behind Chris Carpenter and Adam Wainwright, I guess that’s understandable, but watching them in that last series again the Reds, I didn’t have high hopes. They went 2 for their last 10 for crying out loud.

It makes me wonder: if the Cubs hadn’t faded in September and the Cards hadn’t clinched so early, would they have been a better team going in to the post-season? Or would they not have gone at all?

Oh well, there’s always next year. Ought to be interesting to see how they do if their “pitcher whisperer” does indeed fly the coop as is being rumored. I wouldn’t hate to see him replacing Dick Pole.