DUHSVILLE, MO — Mark McGwire admitted today that he did, in fact, use steroids during the era when his arms were as big as watermelons and his testicles the size of the seeds (presumably).

Response across all of baseball fandom was shock and horror. Residents of St. Louis were heard to say, in unison, “If we can’t believe in the purity of the Big Mac, what CAN we believe in??”

In related news, we have also discovered that grass is green, water is wet, and snow falls in the winter.