Joey Votto is the All-Star-caliber first baseman for the Reds. Those of you very new to Reds fandom may never have heard of him because he hasn’t played since last Tuesday, and will continue to sit out even today. But trust me, you’ll want to hang around until he gets back. He’s something to see.

A now-infamous stiff neck is what has sidelined our hero, and apparently no amount of Swedish massage has been able to deposit him back at first base.

My theory for why Votto is suddenly feeling this mystery pain is that he’s seen the huge Vote Votto movement that’s sweeping the Internets (and real life, too: there were guys holding Vote Votto signs at the game last night) and has gotten himself so worked up about not letting everyone down that the psychological burden is translating to actual physical pain.

That, or meningitis. Sweet heavens, I hope they’ve ruled out meningitis.

In case it’s the former, and in case Joey’s reading right now: don’t worry, man. You can’t let us down. You have already succeeded, and that’s why this movement has been inspired to action in the first place.

We, on the other hand, still have a contribution to make in the form of 25 votes per email address.