You may remember the other night when the Cincinnati Reds clinched the 2010 National League Central Division. They were happy, the fans were happy. There was champagne and beer spraying all over the clubhouse. Oh, and some victory cigars were passed out by Orlando Cabrera, too.

Apparently, some killjoys with a knowledge of Ohio state law phoned in some complaints upon seeing those stogeys.

Five people called a statewide smoking ban complaint hotline, Merz said. Those complaints were sent to the city health department today for investigation. [Bob] Castellini will get letter soon notifying him of the alleged violation.

Now, the Reds get to look forward to having a health inspector come within 30 days.

It does make you wonder, though, if one cranky, unpleasant manager in the Central with a law degree might have been watching and been one of those 5 callers.

The Cincinnati Reds clinched the NLC Division tonight with a walk-off home run from everyone’s second favorite left-handed slugger, Jay Bruce.

From the first pitch, the game had a buzz. When the team left on the road trip, the discussion began about whether the team would clinch on the road, and when they came home with a magic number of 1, Reds fans were bursting with anticipation.

Enter the Cardinals. They were in an ugly position yesterday. Probably the single-most unpleasant thing they could have done to the team was to lose and leave us to awkwardly begin celebrating in the middle of an off-day, but that would have also meant eliminating themselves with a loss against the Pirates. Happily for everyone, they saved their crash-and-burn at the hands of the Pirates until tonight. They lost 7-2 tonight.

So the team was set up for high drama. The fans were on the edge of their seats from the beginning, and they were scrutinizing every play with the highest of expectations. Drew Stubbs’ double off the wall in left field almost brought a groan that it didn’t have that extra 18″ it needed to go over the wall.

Edinson Volquez was great. Aroldis Chapman brought the heat. Scott Rolen did his RBI thang. But even so, the Reds found themselves tied with the Astros going into the ninth inning. Did the fans in the stands realize at that point that it was a karmic necessity for the team to go into the bottom of the ninth in that situation? I don’t know. But it was clear as soon as the ball left Jay Bruce’s bat that there couldn’t have been a better way to win.

Five more games remain in the season, and the Reds will be trying to gain some advantage in the home-field, though probably not as hard as they try to prepare everyone for the post-season, which they are now most definitely going to.

I could get used to typing things like that.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Back near the beginning of the season, before the Reds had established themselves at all and it was Dusty Baker asking the Reds about a contract extension instead of the other way around, I took the opportunity to talk about what I wanted in the Reds’ next manager. Admittedly, a lot of it was direct pokes at Baker’s shortcomings, but all of it was heartfelt.

Like, the next week the team suddenly starting tearing it up and the discussion of the Reds next manager was the last thing on anyone’s mind (except Baker’s).

Fast forward to September. The magic number is one, and I need something to distract me from whether the Cards are going to lose to the Pirates again just before the Reds have a chance to play at home after a lengthy road trip, and thusly provide a premature and vaguely unsatisfying clinch.

The tables have turned on the managerial situation: Baker hasn’t destroyed a pitcher or said a single stupid thing about clogging bases in months. He still can’t write up a decent line-up card, but with all he has to work with, it hardly matters. Between the team’s success this year and the fact that his contract is up for renewal, we may not be seeing him again next year but for an opposing team’s dugout.

And if that happens, what then? I had the horrifying experience of having a fellow fan suggest that Tony LaRussa would be a good addition.

*shudder*

What’s doubly horrifying is that before this season, I might have agreed. But that was before we got a front-row seat to the bitching-and-moaning, the political involvement of questionable appropriateness, and his patented Willingness to Throw his Players under the Bus in the Media^TM.

If the falling out between him and Ozzie Smith wasn’t warning enough, the falling out between him and Scott Rolen is a sounding trumpet. How anyone couldn’t get along with Scott Rolen, I don’t know. He’s like a friggin’ saint over here. I’m pretty sure he actually glows with the light of goodness and truth.

Of course, rumor has it that another falling out, this one between him and Walt Jocketty, was the event that landed the latter with the Reds in the first place. And if that’s the case, there’s probably nothing to worry about for next season.

But I need something else to worry about other than the Cards giving their best prom date impression. LaRussa wouldn’t look any better even in the dress.