It’s the baseball post season, and you know what that means: time for over-the-top avocado commercials! I’m not sure when the post season became synonymous with the fruit, but it’s full of heart-healthy omega-3s and mono-unsaturated fat or something like that, and this is the time when I start getting emails from the avocado council.

Not to bow under the pressure from Big Avocado, but I do like my share of guacamole, and I thought I’d put up a whimsical post today with my guac recipe.

1 ripe avocado
1 clove garlic, minced
1 small white onion, diced
1 small can Herdez salsa
1/4 tsp ground cumin
salt and pepper to taste

Optional ingredients, if they happen to be around the house and you like them. Actually, most of my recipes are decided based on what I find in the fridge, which can get very interesting when we’ve forgotten to customize the produce delivery order.
1 small tomato, diced
1 tsp lime juice
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

1. A ripe avocado is soft like a peach. Not mushy. If you’re buying a mushy avocado, you’re going to end up with a bowl of brown goo instead of guacamole. There’s no excuse to buy an overripe avocado. You’re better off to buy them underripe, because they’ll ripen in a matter of hours if you put them in a paper bag with an apple.

2. Oh, yeah, you want to cut the avocado. I prefer to cut it halves and then in quarters because it makes it easy to get the flesh off the peel. Some people seem to take a great deal of pride in dicing their avocado before mashing it, which doesn’t make a ton of sense to me, but hey, whatever floats your boat. I guess you might want to dice if you want chunky guac. Personally, I take mine like I take my men: smooth.

3. That’s great in theory, but utterly untrue in practice. The part about the men, that is; the guacamole really is quite smooth.

4. So, once you’ve mashed up your avocado, diced or undiced, and acquired a man of your desired smoothness, in a medium-sized bowl, I recommend adding the salt, cumin, and cayenne. Putting the spices in after all the chunky stuff threatens to make it uneven. For me, I put a light sprinkling of salt over the surface of the avocado, but I know some people like to really get their blood pressure going with the guac. Just keep in mind that you usually serve guac with chips, which also contribute salt to the taste. Stir it all up.

5. Now, if you’re like me, this is the point when you do all the mincing and dicing, even though it clearly said in the ingredient list that the stuff should be minced or diced to begin with. My middle school cooking teacher would be shaking her head in disgust, because that’s the sort of stupid shit she got all worked up over.

6. Dump the other stuff in there and stir it up. The flavors do tend to meld together over time, so making it a couple hours or even a day ahead can be a good call. Just make sure you lay plastic wrap right on the surface of the guacamole before putting it in the fridge to keep air from getting at it. Otherwise, you’ll have a big bowl of brown goo regardless of the ripeness status of the avocado you used.

On the topic of sour cream: sour cream does not belong in guacamole. Avocados are already plenty creamy, and adding sour cream just dilutes the flavor. However, sour cream has a place ON guacamole. I recommend a lovely dollop right in the middle of the serving dish, assuming you didn’t put it into one of those dishes with a little figurine in the middle of the bowl.

Serves about 4, so long as you also have other snack foods around. Next time, if you’re lucky, I’ll share my recipe for pizza rolls. (Step 1: open the box)

After a season that showed the Cincinnati Reds general manager had less cajones than Wayne Krivsky did when he pulled off the Trade–and yes, I’m referring somewhat positively to that travesty–Cincinnati Enquirer reporter John Erardi filed an excellent report about what the Reds should consider doing this off-season.

The question for the Reds this offseason is how to compete next year with an $85 million payroll.

Toward that end, they must 1.) Play the odds, and 2.) Make sure the entire organization is on board with the plan.

Item number two is particularly apt considering the obvious disconnect there has been between Jocketty and manager Dusty Baker. That clearly has to be addressed. In a season where Baker refused to test out the youngsters in the final month of a lost season, you have to wonder if the manager cared one whit about the general manager’s plan.

In addition, the team really has to consider whether it brings back Brandon Phillips and Francisco Cordero. Both have been very good, but as Erardi writes, there comes a time for a smaller-payroll time where a cost-benefit analysis must be performed. For them, there isn’t enough payroll flexibility to pay for what a player has done. Both Phillips and Cordero have been successful, but they are getting older. The team should consider finding cheaper alternatives.

I’m not totally sold on Erardi’s arguments against bringing the players back. But the team should be having these discussions. And they should trust their scouts and team to make the hard decisions. Doing that has made the Tampa Bay Devil Rays so successful.

It’s a tough spot for the Reds. Perhaps the best line in the article pertains to Cordero.

Keeping the manager from having to think is no reason to re-sign Cordero.

Amen. Every part of the organization has to be rock-solid, and has to be trusted. Just because Dusty Baker has a weakness for veterans is no reason to drop $10 million a year.

Last I checked, his contract is considerably less than that.

So I guess this is it, then. It’s over. I barely noticed.

Literally. I was at work and my phone chimed to signal the start of the game. I had every intention of checking in on the Game Day, but the next time I heard my phone ding, it was to say the team was already on its way to the airport to head home. Guess they were in a hurry to get it over with.

It sucks thinking back to the beginning of the season when it really seemed like this wouldn’t be Get Away Day, but what sucks more is that the Cardinals are still in it. Those guys were the pits; even when the Reds were already starting to throw in the towel, the Cardinals were worse, and yet look where they are tonight.

It’s just frustrating, that’s all. I suppose I ought to hypothesize on how it’s the leadership’s fault, or bad luck, or the curse of Rob Butcher, but I’m kinda feeling like calling it a season.

Go Braves.

CoCo Cordero, meet the strike zone. Strike zone, meet CoCo. I’d like for you guys to get familiar with each other, even get to be friends in the off-season, since the Reds are on a freaking contract extension frenzy lately and you’re probably going to be spending a lot of time together. Or at least near each other. At least we hope so.

Aside not related to the title of this post at all:
In other news, the Cardinals are going to win their game tonight, and continue the hope of overtaking the Braves for the wildcard spot this season. Oddly for the Brewers, they may be rooting, just a little bit, for the Cards, since if they take the wild card, then there’s no way the Brewers would have to play the Phillies in the first round of the playoffs.

When we were kids, my brother got the nickname “the tree” on his little league team for setting the league record for drawing walks. He didn’t do badly–taking a walk is good–but he just didn’t do a lot of anything in the box. Nevertheless, he did get awarded bases a lot at the expense of the opposing pitchers.

Since the last time I wrote, general manager Walt Jocketty’s contract was extended for another three years. You might see it as another case of getting awarded first for doing not a lot of anything other than failing to strike out.

I mean, credit where credit is due for giving away Jonny Gomes for big fat nothing and hosting the worlds’ largest game of musical chairs with Louisville, but this team was waving and screaming for two months before finally disappearing into the waves and Jocketty never took the bat off his shoulder.

But he didn’t commit The Trade, so let’s let The Tree grow three more rings (the kind a tree grows that indicates how old it is, not the championship kind) in Cincinnati. Thanks to this contract extension, Jocketty will be in town the perfect amount of time to play it safe and fail to bring in any more help for the entirety of Joey Votto’s contract.