Hire Joe Morgan’s House

When I first saw this article about Cincinnati Reds Hall of Fame second baseman putting his California mansion up for sale, I was primarily interested in the slideshow of images showing the home the athlete and broadcaster had lived in over the years.

Then I read the article. Apparently, if you’re a celebrity and choose to use a Realtor to sell your house, they will mock you and treat you like you’re an out-of-touch joke.

The Cincinnati Reds legend and integral cog in the Big Red Machine tabbed Frank Lloyd Wright associate Aaron Green to design the curvy, stone-hewn dwelling in 1980 – and, as one might surmise from the listing photos, not much has changed since that time.

Yes, exactly what you want from the real estate company you hired to sell your house: snark about how everything is old and needs to be updated. I’ve sold a house before and dealt with an agent who didn’t do a good job, but they never publicly made fun of the listing.

The article continues the snarkery, leveling one of the bathrooms.

And let’s not overlook the FernGully bathroom that has some of the most impressive green tile and leaf accents this scribe has ever seen.

The house is listed at $2.9 million, but I bet you could offer $1.5 million, citing all the problems that the website points out. Recommend that they take the difference out of the agent’s commission; I bet Morgan would be happy to work with you.