Wacha Wacha Wacha!

Tonight is the Cincinnati Reds’ first night game of the season, and the team has turned it into quite the event. For Opening Night, players will walk a red carpet and provide autographs to fans, the broadcast crew wears tuxedos, there’s a team calendar giveaway, and after the game there are fireworks.

It’s a fun time, and I’ll be sad to be missing it for the second year in a row. But I’ll be at home, watching as the  St. Louis Cardinals send Michael Wacha to the mound to try to avoid a sophomore slump. Of course, I’ll be envisioning Fozzie Bear everytime he’s shown.

In honor of that, here’s some of Fozzie’s best worst jokes.

• Fozzie: OK, so a guy asks me ‘Did you take a bath today?’ and I said Why is there one missing? Wacha Wacha Wacha!
• Fozzie: What do you get when you put chocolate pudding in your mother’s shoes? Give up? You get a spanking! Wacha Wacha Wacha!
• Fozzie: Why do movie stars have lots of fans? Give up? Because they’re HOT!
• Fozzie: What did the big dragon say to the mouse? Give up. Nothing! Dragons can’t talk!
• Fozzie: Did I tell you the one about the man with the light bulb in his nose? He was lightheaded! Get it? Wacha Wacha Wacha!
• Fozzie: Why are fish so smart? Give up? ‘Cause they swim in schools.
• Fozzie: Why did the man put a sweater on his hot dog? Because it was a chili dog. Wacha Wacha Wacha!

Hopefully, the Reds’ offense will have a presence in tonight’s game. While they’re continued absence could become quite a joke, it would never be as endearing as Fozzie.

The first pitch is scheduled tonight at 7:10 pm.