10. We got all of our crappy relievers out of the way yesterday.

9. All these damn day games are an affront to mother nature, and she ain't happy about it.

8. There's no better way to follow up a sweep of the team who gives you an inferiority complex than with a sweep by the team you like to pretend you're too awesome to concern yourself with.

7. One Derrek Lee and one Aramis Ramirez do not an offense make.

6. Brandon Claussen wants in on some of that sweet home run action.

5. Deep down, they want to lose. One year of winning is quickly forgotten, but a century of losing is immortal.

4. Javy Valentín owns Greg Maddux. I may have jumped the gun a little using this one before.

3. Two words: Adam Dunn

2. Sooner or later, Ryan Dempster is going to enter the game.

1. They don't want to set themselves up to choke later in the season.