May 3, 2005
Scratching Up Trouble
By
Amanda
Posted at 4:00 pm
Cross posted at bellyitcher.
Last night's win by the Cardinals was improbable AND totally unreproducable.
It's going to be cold tonight; I hope the Cards brought their long underwear because the Reds are gonna beat the pants off 'em.
Ask the Astros how the Cards handle the cold.
The Astros? You mean the only team in the majors older than your outfield? I bet there was a round of Metamucil for everyone after [i]that[/i] series.
Hey! We’re younger than the Giants!
Your guys have got to learn to not run on Yadi. He has a cannon.
What’s up with plunking my boy Freel? The way Marquis’ aim has been tonight, I think he’s auditioning for the Reds’ bullpen.
Um, hello? He broke Nunez. Besides, your guy just hit Grudzielanek. All even.
Oh yeah, well, do you call 3-0 a lead? Why, I’ve seen better leads on….demmit. What the hell am I supposed to make fun of with this team? They’re perfect. OK? I said it! Are you happy now??
If my guys don’t start doing something, I’m going to be reduced to joking on Grudzelzippity-doo-dah’s name. And no one wants that.
No, no. Not perfect. There are plenty of concerns. Mostly having to do with health. And the depletion in the pen and bench that causes.
We’ve got some high expectations for this team. I’m holding my breath every game.
I do not accept your pity-self-deprecation. Pitying the Reds and deprecating the Cardinals is my job, not yours!
And Edmonds looks like he’s ready to shoot a commercial for Just for Men.
The one thing I will not tolerate is Jimmy-bashing.
You can call Ray King "Burger King," Albert "Poo Holes," or Julian Tavarez "Crazy," but Jimmy is my boy. I will love him no matter how much eyeliner he wears.
Nothing witty, just WOOOOOO! Casey utterly failed to ground into a double play!
That was all-around ugly baseball.
Holey-samoley, how many pitchers do you guys need to get three measly Reds out in the ninth?
Oh. Jimenez is coming up. I’ll be quiet now.
Our closer is on the DL. We pray for his speedy return.
All I can say is that your boys are gonna have to beat the Reds by a lot more than that if they want to have any hope of post-season action.
The hammer’s coming down tomorrow. You’ll see.
P.S. – Want a closer? We have one you can have.
Ooooh, tempting, but I’ll think we’ll stick with Izzy over Graves, thanks.
Your boys will have to stop serving up home runs to the likes of So Taguchi and Abraham Nunez if they have any hopes of a .500 season.
We can lose tomorrow, still won the series.