Boxscore

The Cubs played a baseball game against the Dodgers, although using the word “play” to describe their actions might be insulting to baseball teams everywhere.

Carlos Zambrano was about the only Cubs player who showed up to play; everyone else flat-out sucked. For example, the entire infield–yes, the entire infield–had an error. Derrek Lee, Mark DeRosa, Ryan Theriot, and Aramis Ramirez all booted or misthrew balls.

The pathetic excuse for baseball made me shake my head and laugh. It’s one thing to expect the Cubs not to win and achieve 100 years of failure, but to do it in such a terrific display of baseball incompetence was staggering.

The more Cubs baseball I see, the more I think that they don’t know how to win. Whenever they get close, they freak out and turn to blaming bizarre things: a fan in the stands, a goat that didn’t even attend the game, a “curse,” etc. The thing is, I never have seen any of those things flail away at bad pitches or bobble an easy double play ball. Until the Cubs look earnestly in the mirror at the only scapegoat that matters I’m afraid that they’re in for even more losing.

Oh, and for those Cubs fans with a computer, you can order your USB panic button here.