Joe Mauer of the Minnesota Twins took home the American League MVP award this year, and to him I say the same thing I said to Albert Pujols of the St. Louis Cardinals, winner of the NL award: if you’re so damn valuable, where’s your team’s 2009 World Series ring, huh?

And don’t freakin’ tell me that Matt Holliday took it cuz I’ve got a whole bucketful of would’ves and should’ves of my own without that crapoli.