CINCINNATI, OH -- Amid discussions of the struggling Reds' hitters, starters, and bullpen, the beat writers are often forgotten, but they're scuffling like the rest of the team.

Friday, May 13 was one of those tough days for the Reds' writers. Cincinnati Enquirer reporter John Fay was the first victim of the slump. In his piece, Changes Coming? today, he committed an error when he incorrectly referred to Sean Casey as the team captain. Fay again faltered when he described Felipe Lopez and being “on his way” twice in the span of three paragraphs in his article Lopez Finally Coming Into Own. According to the official scorer the repeat was not an error, but it was a play that a veteran like Fay should have made.

Cincinnati Post reporter, Marc Lancaster, had a respectable showing today when he gave up just a couple hits on misplaced commas and the improper use of the indicative mood when the subjunctive was in order in his piece At Last, Fun for Dunn. However, teammate Joe Santoliquito at Cincinnatireds.com got off to a shaky start with overuse of alliteration in Harang Harasses Hitters. When, later in the same story, he gave up the tautology, “Harang's mechanics might not be any better than they are right now,” the game was as good as over.

It isn't surprising that the Reds' media is struggling to find the inspiration to create fresh copy when its subject matter is so consistently depressing. Reporters are searching for non-game-related content to even out the tone of their writing. Brian at Redleg Nation, for example, posted a long comparison of the 2005 season to the 1986 season in his attempt to brighten the weblog. Some bloggers are even resorting to poking fun at other writers to ward off the sobs brought on by watching and reporting on the actual games.

Blogger JD at Red Reporter summed up the mood among the reporters, “How many different ways can I say that the Reds are terrible?”

COLUMBUS, OH -- Researchers at Ohio State University believe they can now scientifically explain why catchers in general, and Jason LaRue in particular, are more often hit by pitches.

“The 'ball magentism' phenomenon is a revolutionary breakthrough for the science of baseball,” said E. Lensherr, professor of physics at Ohio State. “It has long been observed that catchers are more likely to be hit by pitches. Until this study, it was widely believed that they were just desensitized to pitches coming toward them and were therefore less likely to shy away.”

The project required LaRue to stand in a simulated batter's box connected to voltmeters while hundreds of cameras around the room recorded a precisely calibrated pitching machine sending balls his way. The cameras detected a slight shift in the flight path of the balls toward LaRue in response to an electric current running over his skin.

“The baseball collects electrons as it rushes through the air,” explained Lensherr. “I hypothesize that the brain of the catcher releases a hormone that ionizes his skin, attracting the ball toward him, increasing the incidence of hits-by-pitch.”

But if LaRue actually attracts pitched baseballs to himself, why does he have so many passed balls? And why has his bat been unable to find the ball of late?

“Some things even science cannot explain,” said Lensherr.

CINCINNATI, OH -- Review of the footage from Monday night's 10-9 loss to the Cardinals revealed that the loss was, in fact, the fault of the fans.

Close examination of the tape of Graves' delivery of the 1-1 pitch that resulted in a 3-run homerun off the bat of Jim Edmonds clearly showed that the reflection from a spectator's watch face shone directly in Graves' left eye.

More sensitive equipment was needed to identify the cause of the homerun to John Mabry, a fastball that wasn't fast enough. Seen through an ultra-violet filter, the film shows the waves of negative energy wafting off the crowd behind home plate toward the pitching mound. That wave of energy appears to have slowed the fast ball.

“I knew it couldn't have been my fault,” said Graves. Graves, previously thought to have lost the game, will have the loss expunged from his record.

CINCINNATI, OH -- Four Reds players are listed on the ballot for the 2010 All-Star Game, which will take place July 12, 2010 at Salt Lake City's Lotramin Park, home of the Utah Brewers.

The ballot was announced today and includes left fielder Chris Denorfia, third baseman Edwin Encarnación, and five-time all-star Felipe Lopez, who is still trying to break his way into the starting shortstop role in Cincinnati. Seventeen-time all-star center fielder, Ken Griffey, Jr., is likely a shoe-in as 2010 looks like it is finally going to be the year he stays healthy.

Fans can cast their votes for starters up to 2500 times using their cortical implants at MLB.com. Online balloting ends at 11:59 p.m. ET on June 30.

MIAMI, FL -- Ken Griffey, Jr. announced that he would be undergoing extensive preventive surgery to reinforce all of his major tendons' connection to their respective bones. The surgery will take place when the team returns to Cincinnati on May 2.

Griffey underwent such a surgery in August 2004 to use titanium screws to reattach his right hamstring tendon that had pulled free from the bone. Though experiemental, the procedure appears to have been successful, resulting in the longest injury-free span for Griffey since he came to play in Cincinnati in 2000.

“I'm getting tired of people asking me if I'm OK,” said Griffey, “You guys have nothing to worry about. Titanium doesn't rust.”

Unfortunately, though the surgery has stopped the constant flow of injuries, recovery from the surgery has left Griffey hitting just .203 with no homeruns in 2005.

“I don't have anything I can compare my last surgery to, and I think people have sort of forgotten that,” Griffey said, “This recovery is tough, and I don't ever want to have to do it again. If I just go ahead and have all the tendons bolted down now, I can recover from them all at once and get it over with.”

Questions remain about whether reinforcing tendons can really help Griffey acheive his previous levels of greatness. “I'm confident that the procedure will return Griffey to the condition of a 25-year old,” said Reds' Medical Director Dr. Tim Kremchek, “And in case it doesn't, we're already working on a device that most certainly will: a time machine.”

Barring complications, Griffey is expected to be ready to play again in August. “We'll miss him,” said Manager Dave Miley, “But at least we'll be able to get some at-bats for some of our guys who are actually hitting.”