If you thought Austin Kearns' hair was fabulous when he showed up to spring training, or if you swooned over Wily Mo Peña's hair during his curtain call after his 498' homerun on Sunday, then you'll be excited to know that soon you or the man in your life can be using the same hair products as these coifed beauties.

“When I saw Austin's gorgeous hair, I just had to share his secret with all my clients,” said Mario Meschier, owner of the famous Escargot Salon in Cincinnati. “Later, I met Wily, and he was just as gorgeous in a completely different way. I had to have his secrets too.”

And what are their secrets? When asked to describe his recipe for fantastic locks, Kearns said with a coy shrug, “I wash it.” Asked to describe his lovely mane, Peña said, “My hair isn't six inches, but it is four, so it is close. So I'll have to let it grow two more inches to six.”

The product line, called Out of Right Field, will be Proctor & Gamble's first foray into the growing market of men's health and beauty products and is expected to hit shelves May 1.

CINCINNATI, OH -- Joe Randa and the Cincinnati Reds released a statement this morning announcing that Randa has legally changed his name to Human Highlights Reel.

“All I know is I'm gonna change my name this year,” said Reel.

Reel's accomplishments in the young 2005 season are already too many to list, but notably include the walk-off home run to win the season opener against the New York Mets as well as a phenomenal jump to snag the final two outs of the win against St. Louis on Wednesday.

When asked whether the name change was a publicity stunt, Reds CEO Carl Lindner explained that the Reds had not encouraged or endorsed this particular name change.

“We were pushing for 'UDF Presents Super Joe,'” said Lindner.

ST. LOUIS, MO -- Cincinnati Reds utility-man Ryan Freel addressed the press and the public Monday night to apologize for stepping on a man's toes on a busy street in St. Louis late Monday afternoon.

“I just can't tell you how sorry I am,” Freel told reporters, “the street was busy and the crowd jostled me around, but that's no excuse. As a role model, I should be more fleet-footed.”

The man in the crowd could not be reached for comment, apparently having not noticed the alleged toe-stepping. This incident marks the third time in the young 2005 season that Freel has struck a penitent posture. Freel released a press release on Tuesday apologizing, without admitting wrong-doing, for his DUI arrest. He also expressed regret over a mistaken baserunning decision at Sunday's game against the Astros.

“It was one of those things where I made a mistake,” said Freel.

Freel went on to apologize for a slew of other things, including hitting into a double play, being left on base, not being six inches taller, wearing his pants too loose, talking back to his mother when he was little, jay-walking, leaving the toilet seat up, and cutting his hair too short.

“It really did look better longer,” he admitted.

At the end of the press conference, Paul Wilson made an appearance to take credit for both the Reds' loss in his no-decision against the Astros on Saturday as well as Milton's loss against the Astros on Sunday.

“I should have given up one run that inning, then gone out for the seventh, and we should have ended up winning, 3-1. Then [the Astros] wouldn't have felt so good about themselves coming in on Sunday and we would have ended up winning that one too, 15-1,” Wilson said.

One or more of the Reds is scheduled to apologize Tuesday night after the game against St. Louis.