CINCINNATI, OH -- Ken Griffey, Jr. discovered that the Houston Astros' grip on first place was held together with pine tar this weekend when he replaced the tar with honey.

Griffey, a notorious prankster and bored during his continuing stint on the disabled list, snuck into the visitor's clubhouse before Friday's game. There, he cleaned the nasty-ass pine tar off Craig Biggio's batting helmet. In place of the tar, he covered the helmet in honey.

“It seemed to fit,” said Griffey of the prank, “they're supposed to be killer bees.”

Even Griffey didn't know that the tar was all that was holding the team together.

“I just thought it might attract gnats or something,” Griffey explained, “I didn't realize I was helping the Reds win.”

Helping the Reds win is not one of Griffey's priorities. He recently said he would be unwilling to consider a position change, despite the fact that the Reds have been performing better without him in center field.

“Look, I'm only 36, and I'm held together with the very best staples and duct tape that science has to offer,” said Griffey. “There's no reason for me to move.”

The Reds agree and have left Griffey on the disabled list going into Sunday's game.

MIAMI, FL -- Washington Nationals General Manager Jim Bowden was arrested and charged with driving under the influence of alcohol while his team visited the Florida Marlins last weekend.

Bowden was pulled over at 2:22 a.m. Monday when he ran a stop sign, according to an officer. The officer noticed the smell of alcohol, but Bowden refused to take a breathalyzer test. Bowden failed other sobriety tests and was arrested.

“To be fair,” said the officer, “I'd probably drink too if I were in charge of the Nationals.”

“I deeply regret any embarrassment that my arrest may cause the Washington Nationals and Major League Baseball,” Bowden said in a statement to the press on Tuesday. Fans of the Nationals and Major League Baseball agree that Bowden has owed them an apology for the embarrassment for a long, long time.

BOSTON, MA -- Having witnessed the emergence of Bronson Arroyo as a hitter since his arrival in Cincinnati, the Boston Red Sox are hoping to have similar success with Wily Mo Peña on the mound.

The Red Sox traded pitcher Arroyo to the Reds for outfield slugger Peña on March 20. Boston knew the power hitter Peña was a work in progress, but they didn't expect to lose home runs with the deal. While Peña's best demonstration of strength in the young 2006 season has come on a double, Arroyo has hit a home run in each of the two games he's started.

“We send our pitcher to Cincy and suddenly he's a hitter,” said Red Sox general manager Theo Epstein. “It is logical that the inverse would also be true.”

Peña will take the mound Saturday against Seattle. He's excited about the opportunity. “I can do this well,” said Peña. “I know a thing or two about strike-outs.”

Asked to comment, Reds' manager Jerry Narron was dismissive. “You think if Wily Mo could pitch we would have traded him?” he asked.

Still, Red Sox' manager Terry Francona is optimistic about Peña's performance on the mound. “The way I see it,” said Francona. “He was already giving up home runs in right field, so this move can't make things worse.”

“Besides,” added Francona, “If we can make a good enough pitcher out of him, maybe we can trade back.”

BRADENTON, FL -- After the 2-1 loss to the Reds on Thursday, the Pirates were quick to blame their poor luck on Mother Nature.

The Reds score came on a two-run home run from Reds' third baseman, Edwin Encarnación. The home run was the 23-year old's fifth in six games in the 2006 spring training season. By comparison, slugger Adam Dunn hit four home runs in 23 games in last year's spring training season.

Nevertheless, Pirates pitcher Ian Snell credited the 20-27 mph wind, not the baseball prodigy, with the home run he allowed.

“You just laugh when one goes out like that. I thought Chris Duffy actually was going to have to come in on it, and he ended up at the wall,” said Snell. “I also laughed when the bright sun caused me to walk Dunn twice, as well as when a lower-than-usual dew point limited me to a single strike-out against a team that features Wily Mo [Peña].”

Snell was so pleased with his loss that he couldn't stop smiling.

“Oh, man, it felt great out there,” Snell said, smiling. “Everything was working.”

Asked about his pitcher's befuddling happiness about defeat, manager Jim Tracy was understanding.

“Go easy on the kid,” said Tracy. “He just lost to the Reds.”

It's been a while, but RHM has again got the inside scoop on the personal correspondence of your favorite team.

The following instant messenger conversation between Reds manager Jerry Narron and second-base hopeful Tony Womack was submitted by an anonymous source earlier today.

weeelz: hey man, wazzup?
SweetJerry: Hey Tony.
SweetJerry: just got out the old caligraphy pens
weeelz: working on a lineup card? sweet
weeelz: i'm on there, right?? LOLOLOL
weeelz: seriously, tho, u know i want 2B, right?
SweetJerry: Don't worry about it.
SweetJerry: I'll get you all playing time
SweetJerry: I told you B4
weeelz: naw, man. I mean I want 2B.
SweetJerry: I kno
weeelz: and I want it all to myself
SweetJerry: want waht?
weeelz: 2B
SweetJerry: u want 2 B all by yourself?
weeelz: yeah
SweetJerry: u could take a walk on the beach
weeelz: ?
SweetJerry: 2 B alone
SweetJerry: walks on the beach r gr8 4 that
weeelz: i dont want to be alone fool
weeelz: i want 2B
SweetJerry: oh i get it
weeelz: yeah, now u feel me
SweetJerry: u want 2B
weeelz: yeah
SweetJerry: that's deep, man