In the Tweet that shook the world, the Reds lineup for their opening game against the Astros was posted.

1. Drew Stubbs 8
2. Brandon Phillips 4
3. Joey Votto 3
4. Scott Rolen 5
5. Jay Bruce 9
6. Orlando Cabrera 6
7. Jonny Gomes 7
8. Ryan Hanigan 2
9. Aaron Harang RHP

Your eyes do not deceive you. That is the second baseman batting second tonight. You can tell manager Dusty Baker is getting really desperate!

Hanging out online during games with the Cards to make jabs at Tony LaRussa’s sunglasses and Albert Pujols’ superiority complex is an age-old tradition here at RHM. But never have we had the opportunity to poke Opening Day fun at the Redbirds. The only thing that could make this any better would be if Jim Edmonds were still hanging around in a half-shirt.

Don’t know if anyone else is likely to show up, seeing as all of Cincy is probably downtown right now and Bellyscratcher will be relishing the parental joy of baby’s first Opening Day, but you can check out my one-sided commentary after the fact, in case, for some reason, you can’t remember any parts of it.

😀

Nothing like a series with the Cardinals over the holiday weekend to get me excited about the Reds. I’m not sure how the Reds scored a decent guest over this weekend. For a few years there, the Reds were getting so freaking screwed on the scheduling, that I wouldn’t be surprised to see them playing a high school team during this prime baseball holiday.

Homer Bailey on the mound today, and I thought they said today was his birthday. It’s not (his is May 3), but it is Sean Casey’s birthday, so maybe they’ll win one for the Mayor. Bailey will have to stop walking people for a minute.

Starting with Albert Pujols! Yippee!!

I couldn’t believe it, either. It’s amazing how things can sneak up on you when you hate some of the participants so much.

Oh, Joey Votto just missed a fowl ball into the stands because of the rolled up tarp. RHM commented, “Ryan Freel would’ve caught it, but then he wouldn’t play again until May.”

Enjoy the season, everyone. And get used to those 1-0 games.

Boxscore

The Pirates have been very good so far this month. Obviously, it’s unsustainable–it is the Pirates, after all–but it’s nice to see them win some games for a change. Since sweeping the Giants early in the month, they’ve won three straight series. The Cardinals were their latest victims yesterday.

The game wasn’t a pitchers duel, with both starters leaving around the game’s halfway point and allowing way too many runs for a Quality Start. Instead, they both received a Crappy Start, which I think should be added to the official statistical lexicon.

Then it became a battle of the bullpens, and unfortunately for St. Louis, they have Jason Isringhausen, who is in a huge black funk right now.

The Cardinals try to regroup and uncover the magic elixir that helped them so much in April when they start interleague play against the Devil Rays at 8:15pm EDT, starting Braden Looper against Andy Sonnanstine. The Pirates travel to Chicago at 2:20pm EDT where Tom Gorzelanny will attempt to beat Sean Gallagher and pick up some games in the standings.