Apparently Adam Dunn cleared waivers.

The Reds traded Dunn to the Arizona Diamonbacks today for minor league right-hand pitcher Dallas Buck and two players to be named later. Based entirely on the fact that “Dallas Buck” sounds like an apt description for Dunn, I’m liking this deal so far.

You might wonder how, without their OPS machine, the Reds are going to score any runs at all, and you’d have a valid point (and an opinion that many others are likely to share). However, Dunn’s offensive production has failed to translate into wins thus far in his career; maybe taking it away will put the pressure on the rest of the team to step it up. Plus, Dunn will get a chance to play on a non-sucking team for a change.

It *is* weird, though, to have the final piece of the Kearns, Griffey, and Dunn outfield dismantled.

At 5’11”, 270 lbs, and 24 years old, Milwaukee Brewers’ first baseman Prince Fielder has a basal metabolic rate (BMR) of 2486.6 calories per day. That means that he needs almost 2500 calories per day just to maintain his weight after the effort of using his lungs for breathing, heart of circulating, and other metabolic processes.

To add in the fact that he’s a professional athlete and presumably very active most days of the week, you multiple his BMR by 1.725, according to the Harris Benedict Equation to determine the calories he needs to maintain his weight given his lifestyle. That brings his total 4289.385.

To put this in perspective, a cup of fresh, raw spinach contains 7 calories. A tomato has about 40. A serving of tofu has about 100 calories. Even an avocado, the unsaturated fattiest of the veggies, has only about 300, and you have to eat the whole thing.

None of that may seem relevant, until you think about how, after reading the book Skinny Bitch in the off season, Prince Fielder became a vegetarian. And it would take over 14 avocados, 10 blocks of tofu, 100 tomatoes, or 613 cups of fresh spinach per day to keep that guy at high fighting weight.

Hope no one else wanted to hit the salad bar.

The Red Hot Household has been struck by the dreaded flu-like symptoms this week, knocking yours truly on her booty for about four days. The Crack Technical Staff literally had to call to get me out of bed long enough to post about Griffey being traded last week, and afterward I fell back to sleep. I mean, I missed work. Do you have any concept of the state I need to be in to miss work??

Finally, I am beginning to emerge from the Nyquil-stained sheets and enjoy the pleasures of the waking world. And, though I’m having almost no trouble keeping myself upright as I watch tonight’s Reds-Brewers game, and though the once-searing pain in my throat is now barely more than a nagging ache, I have not been able to shake this voice affliction that makes me sound like a lifetime smoker/nightclub singer. Maybe we’ll record a podcast so you all can enjoy it.

I’m enjoying watching the Reds win for a change. Even if Cordero eventually gives this one up, we got to see Bronson Arroyo not suck, Gary Majewski suck for only an inning, and David Weathers get out of his own jam. Oh, and Prince Fielder shoving a guy 1/10th his weight in the dugout.

The Crack Technical Staff was telling me that the Reds’ record against teams with records over .500 is very high, while their record against teams with records under .500 is very low. So, they rise to the challenge against the leaders, and manage to suck even worse than the suck teams. Seems strange, but it also seems like exactly the sort of pattern this team has kept up over the years, like scoring among the most runs in the majors but failing to actually contend and hiring Dusty Baker.

While I was out sick, a Cubs fan I work with sent me a taunting email about the Reds already giving up for the season, saying it was earlier than usual. He’s right, but I told him that at least they weren’t giving up on NEXT season yet, which is a nice change of pace.

I also told him that it’s not my problem anyway, seeing as I’m a White Sox fan now.

But apparently not really, since I hung around long enough to see Cordero finally get another save. Dude, it’s about damn time! And Arroyo is officially a 10-game winner. AND Jim Day has a fan club. It was totally worth getting out of bed today.

UPDATE Griffey has given the OK; he’s going to Chicago. This is so exciting! I hope the White Sox go far.

According to the story on Reds.com:

The Reds will receive right-handed pitcher Nick Masset and second baseman Danny Richar, a source said.

Griffey, 38, is a likely free agent after the season. In the final year of a nine-year deal, the Reds held a $16.5 million club option for 2009, with a $4 million buyout.

The trade that’s been in the works since 2005 but seemed like it would never come may finally be here: FOX Sports (and even the MLB.com pages concur) reports that the Reds and White Sox have come to an agreement to send Ken Griffey Jr. to the windy city, if the slugger agrees to go.

Ken Rosenthal says:

The White Sox, leading the American League Central by a game and a half, would use Griffey mostly in the outfield, the source said. However, they do not have an obvious spot for him unless they make another deal.

The Sox are set at the corners with Carlos Quentin in left and Jermaine Dye in right. They could play Nick Swisher at first to open center for Griffey, a move that would reduce the playing time of first baseman Paul Konerko and designated hitter Jim Thome. But Griffey has not played center regularly since 2006.

Griffey, earning $12.5 million this season in the final year of his contract, is owed more than $4 million in salary. The Reds could pay a portion of that sum to acquire better players in the deal. The White Sox also could be seeking to acquire one of the Reds’ available relievers, right-hander David Weathers or lefty Jeremy Affeldt.

No word yet on what the Reds would get in return.

Tonight, the first 30,000 lucky fans to Great American Ball Park will receive this bobblehead of Adam Dunn “sporting 1980s threads.” Some think the outfit is Don Johnson-esque. Others say Spencer from “The Hills.” I heard Brandon Phillips on the radio yesterday say that the bobblehead made Dunn look like Clay Aiken.

My first thought, though, was that it’s a Roxbury suit, as if fake news from 2005 is till rattling around in the Reds’ collective consciousness:

The search for the bat took Kearns and Dunn on a wacky adventure through Denver, starting at a local high-end tailor. They had apparently had matching irridescent suits made because they wanted to look “just like those Night-at-the-Roxbury dudes on Saturday Night Live.”

“What Is Love?” by Haddaway blasted in the background as the two tried on the new suits. That’s when they noticed the tattoos on their backs.

“Dude, what does mine say?” asked Dunn.
“’Donkey,’ what does mine say?” Kearns replied.
“Dude, how many times do I have to tell you that only chicks can call me that, and what does mine say?” Dunn responded.
“They fit all that on my back?” asked a bewildered Kearns.

They are playing Colorado, which is who they were playing when this story took place, and putting Dunn in a fancy suit with a big gold chain seems otherwise irrelevant to the game. On the other hand, the intern who came up with this idea was probably too young to be reading RHM in 2005, just as Dunn, born in 1979 in Texas, would have been too young (and Texan) to ever have worn that suit.

Looks good on him, though. He ought to consider it.