In the Tweet that shook the world, the Reds lineup for their opening game against the Astros was posted.

1. Drew Stubbs 8
2. Brandon Phillips 4
3. Joey Votto 3
4. Scott Rolen 5
5. Jay Bruce 9
6. Orlando Cabrera 6
7. Jonny Gomes 7
8. Ryan Hanigan 2
9. Aaron Harang RHP

Your eyes do not deceive you. That is the second baseman batting second tonight. You can tell manager Dusty Baker is getting really desperate!

Boxscore

There is one winless team left in all of Major League Baseball. Can we all take a moment to reflect and be thankful that it’s not the Cincinnati Reds?

Somehow, it’s not even the Pittsburgh Pirates. No, this year’s unlucky out-of-the-gate team is the Houston Astros. They were swept by the Giants to open the season. After that, they ran into perhaps the best team in the national league, the Phillies, and were swept by them. Yesterday, they started a series against the St. Louis Cardinals, so a win any time soon isn’t looking too promising.

It was the Cardinals’ home opener, and they had Adam Wainwright starting. The Astros never had a chance.

Albert Pujols–of course–was the offensive star for the Cardinals, driving in 4 and going 2 for 3 with his 5th homer of the year. Wainwright was brilliant, allowing no runs and striking out 7 over 8 innings. And he needed just 105 pitches to do it.

The Astros’ punch-less offense managed nothing. Zilch. They were held scoreless and had just 7 hits scattered throughout the game.

Wandy Rodriguez struggled in his start for Houston, allowing 4 runs in 4 1/3 innings. With the exception of the bullpen, the Astros truly displayed a team effort in their loss.

The Astros best chance for their first win may not come until this weekend when they face the Chicago Cubs. If not then, well, they play the Nationals at the end of May.

Boxscore

Edinson Volquez was shaky at first for the Reds, but he kept the game very close, allowing only 1 run over 6 innings. He also struck out 7.

Starting in place of recently injured Brian Moehler for the Astros was Felipe Paulino, a wild, fire-balling rookie. Of course, that combination meant the Reds were doomed, at least as long as Paulino was in the game. Paulino matched Volquez for innings, but did him one better by allowing no runs.

The Astros were leading until Micah Owings stepped into the batter’s box to pinch hit. Owings wasted no time in doubling off the wall, knocking in two and giving the Reds their first lead.

With the Reds seriously bad offense, they should find a way to fit Owings into the lineup more. I have a feeling I know who’ll be DHing during the interleague games.

Boxscore

Well, that didn’t take long.

In his first appearance of the season for the Houston Astros, Jeff Keppinger drove in the winning run off of Cubs reliever Kevin Gregg. I bet that made the Astros think the trade was worthwhile, regardless of who that player-to-be-named-later is.

Wandy Rodriguez pitched well, going 6 innings and allowing 1 run. Ryan Dempster was good, too, allowing 2 runs in 6 innings. It was the offense that was a no-show last night, at least until Keppinger stepped into the box in the bottom of the 10th. Gotta love those extra innings games. And those Cubbie losses.