Opening Day is nearly here. Or technically I guess it’s already done, since it apparently happened on the other side of the world when I was getting ready to drive to work. What the hell is wrong with Bud Selig?

But the real Opening Day is nearly here, and after following these teams for a spring, it’s difficult to predict who will be the worst in the coming year.

I mean, there’s the perennial winner, the Cardinals, who are just awful. They’re counting on Rick Ankiel and Chris Duncan for all their offense other than Albert Pujols, and their rotation is empty without the great Chris Carpenter to anchor them. But on the other hand, Ankiel and Duncan do have some potential and they have rid themselves of David Eckstein.

They don’t look so bad when you look at the Astros. The Astros, not content with the worst farm system in the league, have completely dismantled their major league pitching organization to bring in the likes of Miguel Tejada and Kaz Matsui. Then again, they’re just starting this push for homers.

The Reds have been going down this ill-fated path for years. That won’t be a problem this year. The Reds promised to search the corners of the earth for just the right manager, and then hired the first guy who walked through the door. A guy who prefers lead-off hitters who get out more. A guy with a history of running young pitchers into the ground. A guy who really understands that black and Hispanic players are better than white players in day games.

But at least the Reds have some talent. How about those Pirates? There’s a team that wouldn’t know how to sign a number one draft pick even if they could manage to perform enough below mediocre to get one. And talk about a history of losing: 2008 is going to be consecutive losing season number 16 for this franchise.

Of course, no one can outdo the Cubs for losing. Losing their minds to blow all that money on Kosuke Fukudome, leaving them with no choice but to include Jason Marquis in the rotation. At least Ryan Dempster didn’t make it. Oh wait.

Which brings us to those Brewers.

Well, they’re pretty OK actually. I mean, they’re no Big Red Machine, but at least their fans don’t sit in such a constantly deranged state that they think just now cutting Mike Stanton heralds good things for the team.

So, yeah, I’ll go with them.

Milwaukee LHP Chris Capuano tore the ulnar collateral ligament in his pitching elbow during the Brewers’ spring training game against the Seattle Mariners a week ago, and was told yesterday that he will probably need Tommy John surgery.

Whether he has the surgery or not, Capuano is unlikely to pitch at all this season. Capuano previously had Tommy John surgery in 2002 while he was a Diamondbacks farmhand, and it took him 11 months to return from that one. However, considering that Capuano lost his last 12 decisions last season and pitched in 18 consecutive Brewers losses before being demoted to the bullpen, this may not be as serious a loss for the Brew Crew as it sounds.

Currently, right-handers Ben Sheets and Jeff Suppan are locks for the rotation, with right-handers Dave Bush, Claudio Vargas, and Carlos Villanueva competing with southpaw Manny Parra for the remaining three spots. Yovani Gallardo, also a right-hander, had been in the mix earlier in the spring, but was lost to a knee injury that required arthroscopic surgery and is not expected back until April. That injury could have opened the door for Capuano to return to the rotation, but now, of course, that’s out of the question.

Our Brewers preview interview was postponed last night due to our recording equipment picking up an errant AM radio station. We’ll try again tomorrow, but in the meantime, the Crack Technical Staff and I catch up on what’s been going on around the division.

Ruh-roh, Astros

• Kaz Matsui has undergone surgery to repair his anal fissure. He’ll be out two to three weeks, and will miss the opening.
• Utility man Mark Loretta will replace Matsui.

Trouble Brewers
Manager Ned Yost has interesting plans for his lineup.

• Mike Cameron will bat 2nd when he returns from his drug suspension. Yost wants Cameron’s replacement to also bat 2nd, so as not to disrupt the delicate order of the line-up.
• Yost will have the pitcher bat 8th.

Tweet tweet Cardinals

• Finally signed Kyle Lohse for 1 year and $4.25 M. What the hell happened to the consensus best free agent starting pitcher? Collusion? Backlash against Scott Boras?

Da Cubs

• Rumors that the Cubs will trade with the Orioles for lead-off hitter Brian Roberts continue to abound and be squashed.
• Kerry Wood looks to be the closer for this season.
• Ryan Dempster might not make the starting rotation.

Ahoy! Pirates

• Steve Pearce, one of the Pirates best prospects was cut and send down to AAA camp.
• Starter Ian Snell signed a long-term deal ($8 M over three years). With options, could buy out a year of free agency.

Watch out for McCarthy, Reds

• Jeremy Affeldt has been moved to the bullpen.
• Rotation looks to be Aaron Harang, Bronson Arroyo, Josh Fogg, Johnny Cueto, and Edinson Volquez

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I mentioned the Reds placement on an MiLB.com article about the best minor league systems, but the Brewers place in another evaluation article, as well.

Despite losing closer Francisco Cordero to the Reds, along with effective middle reliever Scott Linebrink, the Brewers still apparently have a killer bullpen. Heck, the article seems to bestow kudos for getting rid of the 44-save closer.

Cordero already had a track record (with Texas) for crash-landing after a big season, so Melvin felt better about rebuilding his bullpen and went all out. A lot rides on whether Guillermo Mota and Eric Gagne can re-enact the deadly combination they formed with the 2002-04 Dodgers.

The Brewers were rated 4th best in all of baseball, which I find a little hard to believe. Gagne was unbelievably bad with Boston last year, and Mota’s average, at best. Plus, there’s no real telling how Gagne will pitch now that he’s no longer allegedly juicing.

The Brewers could have the best bullpen in the central, although that strikes me as faint praise. 4th in all of MLB? Probably not.

Poor Prince Fielder: the arbitration system really is so very unfair. By the time he’s on the open market, his Skinny Bitch diet may have already made him too skinny to play.

Which may be why he’s complaining about his contract. From SI.com:

The Milwaukee Brewers renewed the slugger’s contract for $670,000 on Sunday after he finished third in NL MVP voting last season, when he made $415,000.

“I’m not happy about it at all,” Fielder said. “The fact I’ve had to be renewed two years in a row, I’m not happy about it because there’s a lot of guys who have the same amount of time that I do who have done a lot less and are getting paid a lot more.

“But my time is going to come. It’s going to come quick, too.”

The first baseman will be eligible for arbitration after this season.