Yesterday, the St. Louis Cardinals lost their 5th game in a row. And from a distance, it does have the feel of a spectacular implosion. Tony LaRussa’s losing his cool and bitching and moaning about the strike zone.

“We had a great chance in the ninth, and MLB can go ahead and fine [me], I don’t care, but there were several strikes a guy as good as Brian Wilson got, he doesn’t need. Who knows how that inning would have been? You know they are supposed to review that stuff and they are supposed to fine you if you say anything about it, but that is just not right,” said LaRussa.

I can understand his frustration at losing. But can you imagine Albert Pujols? Viva El Birdos attempts to, taking into account the recent acquisition of Pedro Feliz and the end of Pujols’ contract after the 2010 season.

what on earth do you think albert is thinking as he looks around the infield and sees pedro feliz at third, felipe lopez at short, and aaron miles at second? “i have arrived in the eighth circle of hell” [except in spanish]?

i guarantee that it is not: “i should sign a below-market value contract for the next eight or so years so that i can ensure that this continues to happen to me.” [except in spanish]

Tonight the Cardinals are sending their best–and bitchiest–player, Chris Carpenter, to the mound to attempt to stop the losing. But the San Francisco Giants are sending out Tim Lincecum. The game is on the MLB network now in many areas, including mine. I would recommend tuning in, for the bitching and the good baseball.

MLB just issued a press release with the the results of fines and suspensions for this week’s brawl between the St. Louis Cardinals and Cincinnati Reds.

Major League Baseball has issued discipline to five players and the two managers as a result of the on-field incident that occurred in the bottom of the first inning of Tuesday’s game between the St. Louis Cardinals and the Cincinnati Reds at Great American Ball Park in Cincinnati . Bob Watson, Vice President of On-Field Operations for Major League Baseball , made the announcement.

Reds pitcher Johnny Cueto has received a seven-game suspension and an undisclosed fine for his violent and aggressive actions during the incident. Unless appealed, Cueto is scheduled to begin serving his suspension on Friday, when the Reds are scheduled to host the Florida Marlins. If appealed, the discipline issued to Cueto will be held in abeyance until the process is complete.

Reds manager Dusty Baker and Cardinals manager Tony La Russa each have received two-game suspensions and undisclosed fines as a result of their actions on Tuesday. Baker will serve the two-game suspension on Friday and Saturday as the Reds host the Marlins. La Russa will serve the two-game suspension on Friday and Saturday as the Cardinals host the Chicago Cubs.

Four players have been fined undisclosed amounts as a result of the incident: Cincinnati second baseman Brandon Phillips and pitcher Russ Springer, currently a disabled list player who came onto the field during the incident; and St. Louis catcher Yadier Molina and pitcher Chris Carpenter.

So the only player to receive a suspension is Johnny Cueto. Both managers will have to miss a couple games, but that’s unlikely to have any negative effect. (The joke could be made by both team’s fans that those will be the 2 best managed games all year.)

I saw the suspension for Cueto coming. I don’t think it was malicious, as I’ve felt the panic when dozens of people press against you, cramming you up against an immovable object. The fact that he caused a concussion to Jason LaRue and was wildly kicking does require some response. With off-days, I don’t think it will affect the Reds much.

I am surprised that Chris Carpenter, Yadier Molina, and Brandon Phillips received nothing. Molina and Phillips started it, with the chest bumping and shouting at each other. And then something Carpenter did or said caused it to ignite once the first calm had been reached. Perhaps the video that MLB receives has audio, though, and lets them know things we weren’t privy to.

So, last night, Brandon Phillips went to the press to let them know his opinion of the St. Louis Cardinals:

We have to beat these guys. I hate the Cardinals. All they do is bitch and moan about everything, all of them, they’re little bitches, all of ‘em. I really hate the Cardinals. Compared to the Cardinals, I love the Chicago Cubs. Let me make this clear – I hate the Cardinals.

Exquisite. I mean, it’s exactly what I’ve been saying since the opening series, but just beautifully put. The eloquence brings a tear to my eye.

And ain’t it the truth? Here’s an excerpt from a post here on RHM back in May:

The Cardinals don’t seem to realize what a serious problem they have. Carp getting huffy when someone shows frustration, Card bloggers saying Gomes shouldn’t flip his bat, Card commentators saying the umps should show respect to Pujols. It’s one thing to go onto the field expecting to win; it’s another thing to go onto the field expecting people to let you win. This sense of entitlement screams sick culture. If the Cards were a Fortune 500 company, they’d be on their way to hostile takeover.

See? Phillips said it a lot better.

And it hasn’t changed a bit since then. Carpenter was bitching at Brendan Ryan just yesterday for being a minute late getting on the field because he was back in the batting cage. How dare he make the great one wait for the likes of practicing?

And now today, as Phillips approached the plate to take his AB, Yadier Molina did the totally-non-bitchy thing and kicked his bat. Before you know it, the benches and the bullpens are cleared. In the words of a person who actually saw it:

But it erupted when Rolen went after Chris Carpenter. Several wrestling matches broke out. Johnny Cueto, the starting pitcher, could be seen kicking at someone.

Dusty Baker was in the middle of it, shouting at someone. A couple of players were in a pile on the ground. Jonny Gomes came out of it with a torn shirt.

It all ended with the manager ejected and the fans itching for more. There may be some street fights in the streets after the game. Tomorrow, we’ll think about suspensions, but tonight, we enjoy the glee that comes from smacking down a little bitch.

Boxscore

Brand new St. Louis Cardinals starter Jake Westbrook opened the series against the Houston Astros tonight and pitched good enough for the win. Unfortunately for the Cardinals, but fortunately for the Reds, the relievers didn’t get the memo.

Westbrook was good, allowing just 2 runs over 6 innings. He allowed 4 hits, but struck out 7. Once the game was turned over to the bullpen, the win Westbrook was in line for was stolen away.

Jason Motte pitched a scoreless 7th, but was taken out after he couldn’t get a batter out in the 8th. The 2 batters he did face both reached and later scored. Coming in to add gasoline to the fire were Mike MacDougal (1 run, 1 inning), Trever Miller (3 runs, 1/3 inning), and Blake Hawksworth (1 run, 2/3 inning).

Every Cardinals pitcher allowed runs, but only one of them pitched more innings than runs allowed. It was an ugly night for the bullpen, and the implosion knocked them out of first place, thanks to a Reds win. Cincinnati is now 1/2 game ahead, and at 13 games over .500, has the best record they’ve had since 1999.