If you made it out to Deadspin today, you probably saw this tidbit in which Will made “Isringhausen” into a verb:

3. Junior Mint. It is our belief that Ken Griffey Jr. will play until he's 60, owing to all the time spent on the sidelines due to injury. He's like the collectible action figure that you never take out of the box. On Monday at New Busch, Griffey Isringhausened the Cardinals, hitting a three-run homer in the ninth to give the Reds an 8-7 win. He also had a solo homer earlier in the game, tying a major league record by homering in his 43rd stadium.

Making Cardinals names into regular words is a great idea. See if you can work these words into your regular vocabulary:

Eckstein, n.
1. Any of various small, monochromatic mammals having long teeth for gnawing and a nervous, twitchy nature, such as a lab rat or Guinea pig.

2. A person regarded as twitchy or annoying.

Example: My blind date was cute enough, but things went sour when I realized he was an Eckstein.

Pujols, v.
1. To lie about one's age, often used with “pulled a.”

Example: When the cute waiter asked what birthday she was celebrating, she pulled a Pujols and said she was 29.

Edmonds, adj.
1. Full of playful allure, esp. expressing a coquettish nature through dress, make-up, and hair.

Example: Ryan knew he could get some play from the Edmonds chick.

ST. LOUIS, MO -- St. Louis resident Brian Morans recognized his favorite team today by opening a bar in honor of the Cardinals.

Morans, now notorious after he was caught on film with a sign bearing his own name misspelled, has parlayed his notoriety into a money-making eating establishment.

“I thought if a guy like Albert Pujols could do it, it can't be that hard,” said Morans.

Moran's Bar and Grill will feature some special Cardinals-themed dishes for the series against Cincinnati. “Timo's Toasted Ravioli of Unrealized Expectations” and “Jeff Suppan's Beer to Cry Into” are likely to be crowd favorites.

When asked why the entree names were so pessimistic, Morans shrugged. “Even I can see where this series is headed.”

10. Brian “Love” Shackelford is gone. Man, that guy was holding us back!

9. Esteban Yan is in the picture. Finally, the veteran reliever that will spark the offense.

8. They're due?

Meh…nevermind. I got 30% of the job done. That's about what the Reds have been doing.

10. The umps are kicking themselves over that missed home run call and will do anything to make it up to the Reds.

9. They already used up the last of their three wishes last night.

8. Even Cubs broadcasters have love for Dunn.

7. Glendon Rusch is well-rested and ready for long relief.

6. The Latin Love Machine is ready to kick some ass.

5. Brandon Claussen is looking to get himself off the pickle.

4. Ryan Freel is looking for home run number 2.

3. They don't want to get everyone's hopes up with a winning streak.

2. They want to get the game over with quick. It's Scrubs night.

1. Because if they did that, they'd win the series. And then all hell would break loose.

10. They're on a roll.

9. The Reds have recently rediscovered the magic of the Latin Love Machine.

8. Surely the Reds' offense will show up to protect the Lizard from Kerry Wood. I mean, that match up isn't even fair.

7. The wind is blowing out, and even Freel's hitting homers these days.

6. Chris Hammond's ERA is down to 5.51 and soon to drop to the fours.

5. Ryan Dempster's ERA is up to 3.97 and soon to rise beyond the fours.

4. Dusty Baker.

3. Jim Hendry.

2. Andrew B. MacPhail.

1. Tony Womack.