Check out the Cardinal Roundtable. What a bunch of big fat copiers.

Part 1 at Viva El Birdos - El Birdos? Hello? That's not even good Spanish.

Part 2 at CardNilly - Despite the fact that six people are contributing, this is significantly shorter than most of Scott's posts.

Part 3 at Bellyitcher - A very nice young lady.

Part 4 at Get Up, Baby! - Blog named specifically to prod the next guy who hasn't yet posted…

Part 5 soon to appear at The Birdwatch - C'mon pal. My team's not even in the postseason and I've gotten a post up quicker than you!

Part 6 at Cardinals Diaspora - You know, “Dispersed” would work just as well and sound a whole lot less pretentious.

Next thing you know, they'll have a St. Louis choose-your-own-adventure.

How do I say goodbye to what we had?
The fake news that made us laugh
And talking smack.

I thought we'd get to see the playoffs
But we lost that hope back in May
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

I don't know where this road
Will lead other teams
All I know is what I've seen
When we've played St. Louis.

They may get to play tomorrow
But I wouldn't bet on next Thursday
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

And I'll take with me the memory
That the Cards are turning old and gray
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

And I'll take joy in the memory
That I can watch Randa beat them as a Padre
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

- Apologies to BoyzIIMen. And to Bellyscratcher for rooting for the Cardinals.

Image via JD

I woke up this morning and thought to myself, “Self, if there's one thing I haven't done enough of this season, it's cruelly make fun of the hair, clothes, and spelling ability of Cardinals' fans.” How fortuitous that I should then come across this particular photo on Red Reporter.

Possible headlines that come immediately to mind:

• St. Louis Eighth Grader to Compete in National Spelling Bee
• Brian Morans Makes Embarrassing Spelling Mistake
• Missouri Suffers Shortage of 'Mustache Rides 10¢' T-Shirts

I feel bad about myself. He's probably a real nice, hard-working guy. But the smack must be talked!

ST. LOUIS, MO -- The St. Louis Cardinals will have to face the Reds without a second baseman tonight because Mark Grudzielanek refuses to stop watching the first-season DVD of “Who's the Boss?” long enough to take the field.

Reds' first-base coach Randy Whisler, a big fan of Tony Danza who played Tony Macelli on the show, presented the DVD to Grudzielanek before the game this afternoon for good luck going into the postseason. Whisler knew the gift would be popular.

“But I didn't think he'd refuse to play because of it,” said Whisler. “That certainly wasn't my plan all along.”

But not everyone in the Cardinals clubhouse was excited about the gift. Grudzielanek and David Eckstein nearly came to blows when Eckstein questioned Macelli's manliness.

“Dude, he lives with this broad for like, five years and never gets any action?” Eckstein teased. “What's up with that?”

In fact, “Who's the Boss?” ran for eight years, and only in the last season did Macelli and Angela Bower (played by Judith Light) even acknowledge their feelings for each other. This is among the many tidbits Grudzielanek will happily share about the program that he calls “deep and inspirational.”

“The lessons I learned from Samantha and Jonathan have been invaluable to me in my life,” says Grudzielanek. “Tony was so wise, and Angela was so strong. Oh, and that wacky Mona!”

“Even it's theme song has a message. 'There's the path you take and the path not taken, the choice is up to you, my friend.' That is so true.”

Grudzielanek says his connection to the show is due to the fact that Danza's character had also played second base for the Cardinals on the show before taking a job as Angela's housekeeper. He hopes to continue following in Macelli's footsteps.

“Maybe some day I'll find my Angela,” he said with a sigh.

Grudzielanek is expected to be back on the field to contribute to the Cardinals' massive late-season collapse Saturday or after the one where Tony walks in on Angela in the shower.

I wanted to come up with a real witty smack-talkin' fake new piece, probably involving witchcraft and robots, for tonight's game. Unfortunately, I seem to be suffering from a severe case of lack of inspiration.

Don't get too close, I wouldn't want it to spread to all of Redsdom. Oh, I see it's too late for that.

Instead, I'll just re-post this picture from smack-talk many moons ago. At least it'll give me something to look at as I trade snaps with Bellyscratcher while listening to the game on the radio.