OK, I understand that the Reds aren’t going to win 162 games this season. And I realize that a loss is a loss no matter how much you lose by. But this series against the Cardinals has me wanting to dig a hole and hide.

The Reds may well make it into the postseason thanks to the two wildcards, but it’s hard to hope for much more than that when they get demolished by the Cards who just got demolished by the Pirates. Andrew McCutchen may now be the inexorable force-of-will determining the destiny of all of baseball.

This kind of talk doesn’t help anyone, though. And there’s plenty of negativity on the internet already, especially since I know the Reds are at King’s Island today. Fans hate seeing the players having fun, especially when they got trampled the day before. Even as we speak, the keyboard keys used to type “maybe they should be in the batting cages instead” are being worn out from overuse across the tri-state area.

So, now seems like a good time for a little whimsy. The Wooo guy has a new song with sage wisdom for us all:

There’s also an acoustic version. It’s maybe a little less cool, but the lyrics are easier to understand.

Lately, it feels like the Cincinnati Reds have been missing something from their offense. Some terror that flaps in the night. Given some recent current events, I think I know just the thing to let the Reds get dangerous. Carlos Danger.

Here’s tonight’s lineup against the second-place St. Louis Cardinals, thanks to the Carlos Danger name generator.

1. Javier Sly, CF
2. Narciso Smash, LF
3. Jorge Sly, 1B
4. Mateo Menace, 2B
5. Ricardo Evil, RF
6. Efraín Verboten, 3B
7. Diego Threat, SS
8. Inigo Menace, C
9. Antonio Evil, P

That’s a whole lot of sly, evil menaces to tee off against the Cardinals. So long as there are no dick pics.

It’s not Reds-related or even NLC-related, but Chad Qualls’ stumble after a fist pump last night makes me snort ever time I see it.

Dusty Baker hasn’t given a single word of disapproval so far. Just goes to show that if Aroldis Chapman had just pumped his fist first, then those forward rolls wouldn’t have gotten him in any trouble.

The Padres handed the Reds their fourth loss in a row last night. This west coast visit started out so promising, but last night’s loss pulled the winning percentage for the road trip under the .500 mark.

I didn’t stay up for it myself, so I didn’t know that it was Chris “The Heartthrob” Denorfia that pounded the last nail into the coffin of the Reds’ hopes last night until I saw it on Facebook.

Aroldis Chapman came in to hold the 1-0 lead that the Reds had, walked the first guy he faced (Yonder Alonso), and then gave up the dinger. Maybe he should chalk it up to not having pitched in nine days.

You might think that Dino (and Alonso, I guess) was out for revenge against his former team, but 1) that would be an awfully long time to hold a grudge, and 2) Denorfia has not historically played that well against the Reds. His career line against Cincinnati is only .240/.240/.560, which makes the Reds one of his worst opponents.

He’s best against the Pirates with .344/.431/.607. Hopefully he’ll be showing that off when the Pirates make their late-season trip to San Diego in three weeks. The Reds could use some help beating up on the division leaders.

Incidentally, the Reds have never walked Denorfia. I guess they should have started last night.

Tonight we see another, much more recent, former Red in Edinson Volquez (RHP, 8-8, 5.70 ERA). He’ll be pitching against he for whom he was traded, Mat Latos (RHP, 10-3, 3.39 ERA).

You’ve got to like our chances in this one, with Latos coming off such a fine performance against the Dodgers and Volquez floundering a little lately. But we all know that no amount of excellent pitching will put runs on the board, and that’s what the Reds have been failing to do lately.

As July winds down, talk in baseball always turns to the non-waiver trade deadline. After that date, trades, although not impossible, become trickier to accomplish. With the Reds sitting in third place, 5 games behind the St. Louis Cardinals, there’s certainly room for improvements, right?

Only if the front office believes in the team’s ability to win. And it doesn’t sound like general manager Walt Jocketty’s sold on that.

Jocketty doesn’t see the need for a shakeup.

“We’ve got a solid club,” he said. “The difference this year is our division is stronger. We hit a little tough spell before the All-Star break, but we’re playing well now.”

You know, except for losing three of four games to the Los Angeles Dodgers because the offense couldn’t score any runs. Other than that, the team’s been doing great since the break.

Jocketty does profess to realize the need for a right-handed bat. But his own arguments against it are odd.

“If we do acquire a right-handed bat, what do we do with Ludwick when he gets back?” Reds general manager Walt Jocketty said. “If there is somebody available that can definitely help the club, we’ll certainly take a look. To this point, we haven’t had any conversations with a club that indicated that.”

Yes, Ludwick is supposed to be coming back from the disabled list sooner than later–he’s on a rehab assignment now. But if there’s an upgrade better than the guys currently filling in for Ludwick, finding a space on the roster for him doesn’t sound difficult. Certainly not so difficult that it should prevent you from making the trade. Not unless you have a feeling that the 2013 Reds aren’t good enough to go all the way and might not be worth the investment.

“There’s not too much we can do. We’ve got four guys on the disabled list and when we get them back, it strengthens our club even more,” Jocketty said. “I don’t want to trade prospects to improve the club.”

That doesn’t strike me as the vote of confidence Jocketty might have meant it to be. He’s a GM who always keeps deals secret until the end, but this sounds a bit like this year’s team isn’t worth the effort.

The only reinforcements are the guys on the disabled list. Which could be enough, but you’re assuming that they’ll be ready to go right off the DL and that no one else will get injured for the rest of the season. Those are a couple very large assumptions to make. But they do make sense if you’re not confident in the team’s chances and prefer to wait until next year to try again.